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27 June 2009 @ 09:58 pm
Dear cats  
You are both dark-coloured felines. Our house has a blue carpet. Our hallway has a dark curtain between it and the living room (because there is no room to hang a door).

When Mr Brammers goes mad and decides to turn the hallway lights off rather than to dim, then goes to bed, this is not a sign that you should position yourselves in said hallway on the drape of said curtain at the exact spot that the light from the living room runs out. Because you will find yourself being trodden on, which you won't enjoy, and twisting my bung foot, which I won't enjoy, as I desperately struggle to not put my weight down mid-stride.

I am very glad that you were not hurt beyond a rush of panic, but now I will have to wear flats to the wedding tomorrow rather than heels, so when I am accused of making poor fashion choices, I will be blaming you.

The person who buys you the expensive kibbles. Start behaving or it will be generic brand varieties before too long.
Catscatsintheattic on June 27th, 2009 02:20 pm (UTC)
*sends ice for your foot*


*also sends white paint and a brush*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 02:31 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA! Oh they would give you such A LOOK! I received the ice, applied it and a spot of elevation, it's not too bad ...
cassie_black: Cookie Kittencassie_black12 on June 27th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
Perhaps you could stick some high-vis strips on them? Not sure they would appreciate it, but it's better than being trod on!!

Edited at 2009-06-27 02:29 pm (UTC)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 02:33 pm (UTC)
*Snort!* They would be unhappy at the idea. I am sticking with the positive reinforcement training of Mr Brammers, if he leaves the lights on, the cats and I will live and give him affection and food. If he leaves them off, he will need to explain things to the coroner or vet.
romaine24: catgunromaine24 on June 27th, 2009 02:46 pm (UTC)
*hands you paint*

blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
Is it just me, or are those cats whispering to each other: 'You pee in her shoes, I'll eat the pashminas.'?
Bubba: Picasso Close upabsynthedrinker on June 27th, 2009 02:31 pm (UTC)
Wishing you a speedy revovery.

blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you. It is starting to go down nicely, and I have just found the most beautiful gift of music and vision to return my heart rate to normal ... you very dear man!
rubyemerald_1 on June 27th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)
Boy, do I understand this. I always leave a light on somewhere. My place is a minefield.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 04:16 pm (UTC)
No necks broken, cats fine, they have both come to sit near me and give me looks of concern, and the foot has gone back to something approximating normal. All up, it could have been far worse! And yes, small houses with long dark areas ... there's a reason people use them in horror films ;-)
Shivshiv5468 on June 27th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
Tateful fur mittens agains the cold?
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 04:17 pm (UTC)
They know I count on them for foot and head warming on cold nights (Monster is a pillow appropriater).
Shivshiv5468 on June 27th, 2009 04:30 pm (UTC)
Hot water bottles?
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 04:35 pm (UTC)
You're going to give me a look, but I have had to ban hot water bottles for the most part after Mr Brammers gave himself two second-degree burns in the one winter by failing to acknowledge that the metal bit at the neck is actually quite hot and will stay so.

Look, he's hot and can lift heavy things. When I want common sense, I talk to my girlfriends ...
Shivshiv5468 on June 27th, 2009 04:43 pm (UTC)
But if you cover the bottle with fur....
Bryoneybryoneybrynn on June 27th, 2009 03:12 pm (UTC)
Flats? But you won't be able to see over anyone's...er...tummy...

blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 04:20 pm (UTC)
It's funny because it's true!

Did I ever tell you stories of when I was doing sports reporting for the Sydney Olympics and Paralympics? I went to interview the men's wheelchair basketball team, and put up good-naturedly with the jokes that I was the same height standing up as they were in their chairs. Then Troy Sachs stood up (he has one leg), to his full six and a half foot glory. I told him that since he was out of my field of vision, I could safely ignore him.

(To be fair to TS, he was really lovely, and an amazing sportsman.)
down the hills and round the bendsnorton_gale on June 27th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
Cats love to get in the way: I suppose they think they're being "helpful." Annabel kept jumping on G when he was trying to hang pictures today.

Hope a good night's sleep is all you need for your foot to feel better.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
She was helping him to get them straight!

I think it will be fine, I have just had an extended nap on the sofa with it up and it seems to have calmed down quite enough for me to go to bed. Oh the exciting life at Chez Brammers!
miriravanmiriravan on June 27th, 2009 04:33 pm (UTC)
Heh. You'll have to let me know if that works for you, 'cause if it does I might try writing a letter to my four about why it would be best for them not to *walk right in front of me very slowly* especially when I'm carrying something hot and/or sloshy. Cats. Gotta love them. Because if you killed them, you'd probably feel bad once the intense rush of satisfaction wore off. :)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on June 27th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! Although happily only one of ours does that. Cookie trots ahead of us anywhere we want to go, so we call her 'Lead the way Cookie!' We also can be frequently heard to say 'In the way Mon!' as Monster has all the sense of a whelk.
Ann: eyetsosh on June 27th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
How about glow-in-the-dark collars? It will be faster than training them (because
will never happen)...

I hope you feel better and have fun at the wedding. At least you have a great excuse not to torture yourself on heels.
Leochileochi on June 27th, 2009 07:32 pm (UTC)
I will resist the temptation this time. ;DDD

Hope your foot is better!
prone to mischieftreacle_tartlet on June 27th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
Bad cats! Hope you're not in too much pain, oh illustrious leader!
uminohikariuminohikari on June 28th, 2009 01:30 am (UTC)
D: Aww, poor foot.
Meredythmeredyth_13 on June 28th, 2009 01:58 am (UTC)
A cat's diary, day 1940 ...

'Our latest attempt to assassinate the small human can opener has failed. Once again the cover of dark and the careful placement of our bodies in the line of danger was overcome. We take pleasure in the obvious injury sustained, but this is mitigated by our own aggravated nerves. We shall try again ... mwahahahaha'
Jae: Seamus 2enchanted_jae on June 28th, 2009 07:07 pm (UTC)
All cats, no matter how well you love them and care for them, are compelled to attempt to kill you. *nods knowingly* Seamus (icon) lies at the top of the stairs in the dark. Now, it would be a problem to step on him coming UP the steps, but I believe I'd die if it happened as I was attempting to go DOWN the steps.
trichinopoly ash: broyles: ?!?aldehyde on June 29th, 2009 05:15 pm (UTC)
*hugs* awh i hope you and the kitties are okay!