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19 January 2009 @ 01:01 am
I always knew it would come to this ...  
pingrid  and I have been discussing terms for the penis. For some absurd reason we thought it would be a good idea to put together a list of international euphemisms. If anyone is interested in helping, it would be delightful if you could suggest a few terms. Our ideal format would be something along the lines of:
Percy: affectionate, mostly non-sexual references. 'Put your percy away, Percy.' UK
Donger: basic euphemism, mostly used in idiomatic phrases. 'It's dry as a dead dingo's donger out there.' Australia

Non-English terms are very welcome. Private names for those penes closest to my flist should be held off for another conversation, preferably after the consumption of much alcohol.*

I'm hoping that one of you provides something of sufficient curiosity that I can pretend this is a matter of academic  interest ...

*Local and regional terms are encouraged. 'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

pingridpingrid on January 18th, 2009 02:34 pm (UTC)
I am now stuck in my own brain, trying to weight the different expressions against each other!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 18th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
All of them, Pin, write up all of them! We'll find somewhere to archive it and it will be A Valuable Resource.

(Why do I let you talk me into these things again?)
(no subject) - pingrid on January 18th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα: _gnaw_inbetween_ on January 18th, 2009 02:49 pm (UTC)
This being the internet, there are quite a few sites with lists I happen to know: http://www.starma.com/penis/penis.html
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 18th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks! But we also want to know where they come from and what contexts people use them in, so feel free to tell us yours!
down the hills and round the bendsnorton_gale on January 18th, 2009 02:51 pm (UTC)
I've always been partial to tallywhacker. I've never heard it actually used, though. :)
Potteresque Irepotteresque_ire on January 18th, 2009 03:01 pm (UTC)
Would have thought it was the remote control if I heard the term ;)
(no subject) - norton_gale on January 18th, 2009 03:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thisgirl_is on January 18th, 2009 03:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - norton_gale on January 18th, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - thisgirl_is on January 18th, 2009 03:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - potteresque_ire on January 18th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - alaana_fair on January 18th, 2009 03:49 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - potteresque_ire on January 18th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - marguerite_26 on January 18th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - acromantular on January 18th, 2009 05:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - rocket62204 on January 18th, 2009 08:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Vaysh Swiftstorm: Draco smirk: Your Arsevaysh on January 18th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
In German:

Schwanz: The most commonly used term, not to be mentioned in dialogue with great-aunt Elfriede, but in most any other circumstance (translates lit. into Engl. tail - as you can imagine, the jokes abound.)

Johannes: old-fashioned euphemism, but still used affectionally or tongue & cheek (translates lit. into Engl. John.)

Pimmel: used commonly, but more in kid's talk. Young boys and adult men reluctant to use "Schwanz" may use "Pimmel".

Ständer: the erect penis, colloquial term for erection.

There are more, will add once I can think of them ;-). In general, German has much less terms, slang or otherwise, for the genitalia both male and female, and there's a very restricted vocabulary for the acts of sex. Often, when there is no German word, the English expression is substituted (like Blowjob, rimmen, Cock-Ring etc.)

Rosefourth_rose on January 18th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)
Hoppla, Zwillinge! ;))
Rose: Pornish Pixie Harryfourth_rose on January 18th, 2009 03:02 pm (UTC)
Now that should be fun...

(Southern) German:

Schwanz (=tail): common euphemism, considered rather vulgar, possible in sexual references if you're for the direct approach ;)

Pimmel (Austrian variety: Pimpfel): slightly vulgar, but mostly used in a semi-joking fashion

Zumpferl: affectionate in a very non-sexual way (it's a diminuitive, hence not to be used in the heat of the moment!)

Johannes (= John): somewhat old-fashioned, mostly used in a joking manner

Spatz (= sparrow): kiddy-talk - the term you might teach a toddler to use.

ETA: Commenter above beat me to most of them, I see ;)

Edited at 2009-01-18 03:03 pm (UTC)
Vaysh Swiftstorm: Draco smirk: Your Arsevaysh on January 18th, 2009 03:21 pm (UTC)
Du bist Deutsche oder Österreicherin??

Spatz and Zumpferl are aweseome, though I never heard of them ;-). Interesting how we seem to differ slightly in the estimates of vulgarness ... Schwanz seems so common to me, I barely even consider it vulgar anymore ;-).
(no subject) - fourth_rose on January 18th, 2009 09:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vaysh on January 18th, 2009 09:29 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fourth_rose on January 18th, 2009 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - fourth_rose on January 18th, 2009 09:24 pm (UTC) (Expand)
CiraAranaciraarana on January 18th, 2009 03:05 pm (UTC)
Well, I could add a couple of German expressions if you'd like. :)

Schwanz: the German equivalent of 'cock'. [The literal translation of 'Schwanz' is 'tail', though, so you really need to be careful when you're talking about the wagging tails of dogs or the long tails of rats.]
Schniedel: a term generally used by small children. 'Jungs haben einen Schniedel.'
Schaft: is 'shaft' in English. Most often found in romance novels as artistic euphemism.
Lanze & Speer: 'lance' & 'spear' - equally bad euphemisms found in romance novels.
Willie: the German equivalent of 'percy'.

A term for the erect penis is Staender (from the German word 'stehen' = to stand). It's colloquial and the least crude term if you want to avoid erection.

I'm sure I know a lot more, though. *thinks hard*
Vaysh Swiftstorm: Draco smirk: Your Arsevaysh on January 18th, 2009 03:23 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you for Schniedel - I just knew I had forgotten some. Schaft is plain ridiculous :-). Usually, in the romance novels I am writing, genitalia are not mentioned, but a euphemism is used. Er war hart, oder so.
(no subject) - ciraarana on January 18th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC) (Expand)
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(no subject) - rhaniyago on January 18th, 2009 10:42 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Potteresque Irepotteresque_ire on January 18th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
*Prepares to die of laughter reading this post ;)*
old_enoughold_enough on January 18th, 2009 03:40 pm (UTC)
The most polite euphemism in Danish that I can think of is "Ædlere del" (lit. more lordly bits) which applies to both genders, so is probably more a euphemism for genitals, but I know women use it most often when referring (say in a work environment) to a guy's penis. It is also used in newspapers: So-and-so celebrity managed to burn his "ædlere del" while cooking nude.

"Pik" is the crude word that most closely matches "cock".

"Tap" is another possibility--slightly risqué. It is the same was the "tap" in the English "water tap".

"Tissemand" (lit. "pee man") is the Danish version of the British "willy"--so a somewhat childish word.

"Lem" (lit. "limb" or "extremity" is another polite euphemism for "penis".
(Anonymous) on January 22nd, 2009 11:32 pm (UTC)
I'd have to disagree on 'tap' - that's risque? The first thing I think of whenever I hear that word is the Mannikenpiss. Very little boy-ish and generally completely free of sexual implications. Tap doesn't only mean water tap, but any small protrusion (as in English?) - the tap in a lock, for instance. So it does imply something of a not too significant size.

'Pik' is very common and the "sexiest" word around, I think that's the consensus anyway. It is sometimes interspersed with the more outrageous ones - 'ynglekaep' (breeding rod), 'tredjebenet' (the third leg), 'pikkemand' - an adultified version of 'tissemand' (pik + tissemand), 'dillermand' - same construction. Even worse are 'ködrullen' (the meat roll) and 'skumspröjten' (the foam hose).

'Diller' also exists on its own, somewhere between 'pik' and 'tissemand'. I don't think I've heard it used since 2. grade though - sort of one you use while you work up the guts to actually (gasp!) say 'pik'.

'Tissemand' itself has won a great bit of at least the younger generation as the go-to word for every occasion. Probably because most find that Danish is horribly unsexy, and young people are completely incapable of speaking about sex in anything but a joking manner - in Danish that is.
I've noticed that whenever sex comes up in my classes - age 16 to 28 of almost normal and well rounded young people - most will use not english expressions, but sentences, mixed in.

'Lem' is polite - kind of. It also calls to mind bad bad bad erotic romance novels and your grandmother.

(no subject) - (Anonymous) on January 22nd, 2009 11:34 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - old_enough on January 23rd, 2009 08:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
Alaanaalaana_fair on January 18th, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
'I call mine Fang' is discouraged.

LOL! Oh, but why? :-D
The Elephant in the Roompennswoods on January 18th, 2009 04:07 pm (UTC)
Schlong: derived from the Yiddish word for snake. Crude, but often used humorously. 'Dude, put your schlong away!' US, particularly New York city area.

Sausage: primarily used in the idiomatic phrase "sausage party" to refer to an all male gathering. 'What is this, a sausage party? Where are all the chicks, man?' US
salviagsalviag on January 18th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Here in Texas (and likely other places in the U.S. with a strong Hispanic influence), testicles are sometimes referred to as "huevos," the Spanish word for eggs. It tends to be used to imply great masculinity and/or hubris, i.e. "It takes some huevos to do that."
Robynarobynsung on January 20th, 2009 01:04 am (UTC)
*waves at fellow txn*
Also, "Cojones" in the same context.

(I hope I got the spelling right)
rickey_a: potato smutrickey_a on January 18th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
welll there's of course the my yiddish vocab of
little boys have a shmeckel

I also like the more colorful description of: The incredible heat seeking moisture missle.
or even: one eyed trouser snake

Movies are important influences as well
I like the Austin Powers ref of Meat and 2 Veg
or the Something About Mary: frank and beans (is it the frank or the beans? LOL)

Then the ever popular using "names" like Johnson or Richard

I could go on and on and on...

miriravanmiriravan on January 18th, 2009 04:39 pm (UTC)
'Wedding tackle'. I don't know where it ultimately derives from, but at least among my group of friends, most commonly found in the phrase 'polishing the wedding tackle', which means just exactly what you think it means. :)

Also, 'junk'. Again, don't know where it comes from, but seems to refer to the whole, er, package.

Oh, and 'package'. :)
Sarah: Nice Hair, Clever, Has Her Own Gun: Derelick ~by: staurthenotoriousso4 on January 18th, 2009 05:41 pm (UTC)
I'm from the midwest (more specifically Oklahoma), but I'm sure that most of the terms we use are probably not regional.

Dick: A vulgar term. Used mostly in anger when phrased "Well, why don't you just suck my dick?" You would not use this word in front of your mother. USA

Johnson: Slightly less vulgar than "dick", but still not something you would say in front of your mother. Mostly used in all male company. USA

Pee-pee: Only used by small children... hopefully. USA

Boner: Refers to an erect penis, and generally only used by teenage boys. Still not something one would say in front of his mother. Funnily enough, it's also a nickname for a trombone. :) USA

And then there are general terms like "junk" and "stuff", but I think they refer more to the whole package. And there are more "eloquent" terms like "bait and tackle" "beans and weenies" or a term I heard more recently that made me laugh out loud: "cash and prizes".

Camden: DrakePoppinCollarabusing_sarcasm on January 18th, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Well, coming from the Detroit area and formerly hanging around with a very urban crowd, I can probably add a few unique ones...

Like "wood," used as in, "I gave her the wood."

"Bone," which works the same way.

"Jimmy," or "jim" is the same deal. Also goes with "jimmy hat," which is slang for condom.

"Dillz," as in "I gave her the dillz," is not popular, but used.

"Chubby," usually specifically means erection, unlike "Wood" and "Bone," which would IMPLY an erect state, but don't necessarily mean that.

Also of note would be "Basket" which refers to the groin in general ("I kicked him in the basket."), and "Bozack," to mean testicles.

An additional fun fact - In hip hop slang, "cock" can also refer to female genitalia, as in the very lovely, "You don't know the meanin'/of cleanin' your cock."

Sometimes I miss those misogynistic bastards...