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06 January 2009 @ 02:22 am
On the twelfth Day of Christmas, blamebrampton gave to me ...  
Fic, or at least, part one of what will be two or three! (Lists will be finished this month, too!)

But first, HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO foi_nefaste , fallinskye  and japanimecrazed 

You know how all the best Harry Potter moments come to people on trains? My brain doesn't work like that. My brain says things like 'God, can you imagine if there really was mpreg in the HP-verse? Malfoy would be FURIOUS.

You know how I have these bad ideas now and then? Yeah. Don't read this if you believe that every sperm is sacred and every embryo a gift from above, because you will loathe it!

Otherwise, feel free to inflict it on yourself with the twin warnings that it's quite cracky and also what I genuinely believe would happen given the circumstances that follow. It is a WIP, but I will be finishing it this week or weekend, and it's unbeta-ed because it's too stupid for words.

Author: blamebrampton, but she is very ashamed
Title: A Single Wizard’s Guide to Fatherhood
Summary: Drinking can have very, very bad results and condoms aren't just for Muggles. These are just two of the vital life lessons learned by our heroes in the course of this fic.
Pairing: H/D unless they kill each other, which is highly likely.
Warnings: EWE, mpreg, but the mpreg that people who like mpreg won't like, gin and hot baths, lack of paternal instincts, rampant ridiculouslness.
Rating: Horrid!
Word count: 3168 this part, probably 10-15K all up, 5 written so far.
Disclaimer: JKR not only has nothing to do with this, she would run screaming from it, as should all right thinking people.


A Single Wizard's Guide to FatherhoodCollapse )
 
 
 
grey_hunter on January 6th, 2009 12:15 pm (UTC)
but the mpreg that people who like mpreg won't like

I believe you'll find that you're quite wrong in that. For now, it progressed exactly how the majority of mpreg fics usually do. :D Oh, and I also like the crack! Do keep up with the writing, you'll be a serious mpreg writer yet! ;)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 6th, 2009 12:15 pm (UTC)
You just wait! (And Grrrr! Will not!)
grey_hunter on January 6th, 2009 12:30 pm (UTC)
Okay. :)

And to be honest, I only like mpreg until the kid is unborn. I never know what to do with it afterwards. If this progresses to my taste then the child will be stilborn and Harry and Draco end up hating each other and then nineteen years later, they get back together but Draco will only allow Harry in his bed after he got a magical vasectomy. :P
(no subject) - blamebrampton on January 6th, 2009 12:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - grey_hunter on January 6th, 2009 01:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
incinerapture on January 6th, 2009 04:00 pm (UTC)
this is deliciously amusing.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 7th, 2009 12:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Aki-chan: fangirl momentakiko88 on January 6th, 2009 05:03 pm (UTC)
OMG! This is really funny! And poor Draco, thinking he will give birth in nine months, but instead gives birth in three.
I can´t wait to see what happens next. So update soon, okay! :D
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 7th, 2009 12:51 pm (UTC)
The next chapter is half done, but I have sewing to do before Friday for a friend's party frock, it will probably go live Saturday, may well be all up by Sunday. I'll send myself to my room without any supper for shame on Monday ...
(no subject) - akiko88 on January 9th, 2009 06:41 pm (UTC) (Expand)
uminohikariuminohikari on January 7th, 2009 12:46 am (UTC)
I. I. I don't know what to say. You made Draco /pregnant/. Though, it was funny! ♥
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 7th, 2009 12:59 pm (UTC)
I know, I am SO ASHAMED! Though he becomes more obnoxious as time goes on and has all the maternal instincts of ... er ... me ;-)
(Deleted comment)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 7th, 2009 12:59 pm (UTC)
I have forgiven myself on the grounds that 'We're having a heatwave ... a tropical heatwave ...'
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on January 7th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
valkyrie17: JB phonevalkyrie17 on January 7th, 2009 07:15 am (UTC)
Love it:)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 7th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
I love your icon! (And I am so ashamed to have written mpreg ...)
nonajfnonajf on January 13th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
This had me cackling maniacally! Pregnancy without the magical effect of turning the brain to mush! I'm looking forward to the rest. Poor Draco, cramming seven months of growth and change into four weeks! Eek.