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02 January 2013 @ 11:59 pm
Sixes and sevens …  
A man I liked but was not close to died yesterday. I'm torn between great sadness, because he was a gentle and kind person who has left behind a lovely young son and a wife who cared for him deeply, and crossness, because his cancer came about through 30 years of smoking with a layer of ignoring all the OH&S rules for crafting on top of that.

And I know it's not polite or 'appropriate' to be cross, but his death is a waste. I know what it's like to lose your father when you are young, and it is really hard. I know for a fact he wished he had made different choices, but am angry with him for not doing that for years and years. Base your health choices on the next 30 or 60 years, my friends. I grew up around healthy and active octogenarians and nonagenarians (if we can avoid people trying to kill us on the road, people in my family live a long time), and surely that should be the sort of life we make our health choices based on.

Fuck it, I'm going to finish my stretches and get an early night. Recs tomorrow.

pinkdiamond, I am thinking you a happy birthday in my head, but will send proper wishes tomorrow and try to get to NZ to see you this year!
bk7brokemybrainbk7brokemybrain on January 2nd, 2013 03:18 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry. *hugs* And anger is perfectly appropriate. *nods*
mrsquizzicalmrsquizzical on January 2nd, 2013 09:24 pm (UTC)

my family battle a lot of illnesses that are not something that can be controlled. it does cast this sort of thing into stark relief. :(

blamebramptonblamebrampton on January 2nd, 2013 10:03 pm (UTC)
That makes me cross, too: it's such a waste of healthcare resources that other people have no choice about needing!
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα: wolves_inbetween_ on January 2nd, 2013 11:00 pm (UTC)

What crafts? I've been inhaling too much ceramic, glass and wood dust before even hearing one shouldn't.
Dedicated Escape Artist: Purple flowersjadzialove on January 3rd, 2013 12:40 am (UTC)
I think being cross is actually quite normal, especially when it might've been preventable. How and to whom you express it probably falls under appropriateness scrutiny, but I think you're safe venting here. You go right ahead if it helps you. *hugs*
Kilian Ruadhms_kilian on January 3rd, 2013 02:15 am (UTC)
Well said!
Jaeenchanted_jae on January 3rd, 2013 02:51 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and even more sorry that his death could have been prevented. A tragedy, indeed.
kaedhlinkaedhlin on January 3rd, 2013 04:55 am (UTC)
I'm with others on the crossness stakes - justifiable and normal. We recently had a death in the family, made all the more startling by the fact that we thought he had never had signs of a bad heart.
Only, we found out after talking to the family, he did. His wife had been on at him for weeks to get his little chest pains checked out. His doctor appointment was on the Friday; Thursday night he had a massive coronary and was rushed to hospital. They did all the usual things, including inducing hypothermia to try to allow extra time to restore blood flow to the brain, but to no avail.
Many years ago, a family friend knew she had a lump in her breast for a YEAR before seeing/telling anyone. And she was a health professional.
You end up with this massive grief and anger circuit. You wish they were still alive so you could throttle them!
So I'm doing what Brammers told me and making some life decisions based around not-dying soon: eating better and doing some form of exercise until I like it! Maybe my exercise should be walking/cycling to your house!

Edited at 2013-01-03 04:57 am (UTC)
rain_and_snow: wordsrain_and_snow on January 3rd, 2013 11:21 pm (UTC)
It really is a small world.