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29 July 2010 @ 11:58 pm
Three things I have:
* A sofa with high arms.
* A lovely but naughty Monster cat who likes to sit on the arms and back of the sofa.
* Rather long hair.

Some of you will have guessed what happens next.

Mon often reaches out to bunt the back of my head and demand chin scratching. Sometimes she just leans her head against the back of mine and purrs at me, or leans out and clambers onto me for a cuddle. Tonight she was sitting behind me having a good old groom. Then I went to stand up. My hair was caught, I assumed she was sitting on some of it. Oh no.

She had swallowed 18 inches of a lock.

Cat digestive juices ... ew! Thank goodness it's hair washing night!
FEELS TERRORIST!: Trigun Wolfwood wowmomebie on July 29th, 2010 02:01 pm (UTC)
Holy cow.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 02:03 pm (UTC)
SO not right. It makes me worry what else she eats during the day!
pingridpingrid on July 29th, 2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
Eeew! Now I'm vividly imagining the scene where you pulled your hair back out ... Was there wailing? Tugging? Strange wheezing?
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 02:19 pm (UTC)
She was fine! If anything, relieved! She's a good little evil cat ;-)
prone to mischieftreacle_tartlet on July 29th, 2010 02:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, wow! All the machinery's ganging up on me again! VYVYAN!
Darling! Tried to put together a picspam post including images of the girls wearing their lovely woolies, but my camera (so recently rediscovered!) is now haivng issues with the memory card. I had assumed that, my camera and Blondie's defunct one both being Kodak EasyShares of similar vintage that I would just be able to take his memory card and put it in my camera. Alas! My camera claims that the pictures I took are on the memory card, but when I put the card into the computer, the computer says 'Nope! No new pictures here, only the streaky, oddly coloured pictures you took on the dying camera last week!" It is all very strange, and if this comment makes no sense we shall have to blame the half a bottle of chardonnay I just drank in an effort to get remuslives23's rather overdue birthday ficlet rewritten (dear eccentric netbook just ate a whole's day's work on it!).

I must stop thinking about that merlin_muses prompt and write my hd_fan_fair fic instead!

Edited at 2010-07-29 02:34 pm (UTC)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh, wow! All the machinery's ganging up on me again! VYVYAN!
There's probably a hamster in it!

As to the eccentric eatings, did you check your recent files to see if it was accidentally saved as something else? I had a computer that used to do that now and then!

Leave Merlin for a week or two! It will write itself! or we can do it together over IM ;-)
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Leochileochi on July 29th, 2010 02:57 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahaha - OMG - I'm so sorry, but the whole scene is too hilarious for words. :D :D :D

Glad your Monster and your hair both survived. *grins*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 03:01 pm (UTC)
Aside from the disgustingness, it was quite amusing! The best things were her look of 'Oh, that's better!' when I pulled it all back out, and her cheerful ignoring of me as I ran around looking for a hanky shrieking 'EW! EWWWWW! Cat spit!'

Cookie came out to see what was happening and I swear, she looked at Mon, said in cat language 'Human goes bananas?' Monnie nodded, and Cookie gave the expression of 'Oh humans, you're so weird ...'
(no subject) - leochi on July 29th, 2010 03:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Rose: Looking at youfourth_rose on July 29th, 2010 04:07 pm (UTC)
Yikes! I've got a lot of personal experience with cats and long hair, but that's a new one to me... *hands shampoo*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 04:13 pm (UTC)
I've done it to myself when cycling and riding, but this is the first time the cats have done it! It was a truly astonishing amount of slobber :-( Though she looked so relieved when I pulled it out!
(no subject) - fourth_rose on July 29th, 2010 04:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα_inbetween_ on July 29th, 2010 04:41 pm (UTC)
The few times I managed to pull it out the FRONT of them we all were very happy dot dot dot dot
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 05:13 pm (UTC)
EW! EEEEWWWWWW! oh you poor dears!
(no subject) - _inbetween_ on July 29th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _inbetween_ on July 30th, 2010 07:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
finntini: ginko redfinntini on July 29th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
That's no good - what was Mon thinking! I think it is still better than eating plastic bags, as mine does.

Last night we spotting her casing the joint in preparation for stealing some fish skins. We cleared them all away, only to find later that she had stolen and eaten a cake finger. What kind of cat likes Madeleines? A fat, devious one. *sigh*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 05:15 pm (UTC)
She probably reads Proust while you are out and sits around languidly in a very French fashion ;-)

I think she may have started off thinking it was one of her hairs and may as well be licked up, and then just kept going ... A tiny part of me half wishes I hadn't noticed for a little while longer so I could have seen if she would go all the way up to my head ... but that's so wrong ...
This Girlthisgirl_is on July 29th, 2010 04:47 pm (UTC)
Oh god, that's so wrong! I hope your hair, your psyche and her throat all recover!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 29th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
The hair is fine, she seems fine (and has a shorter memory span than I do), and I now know to be a bit more suspicious when I start hearing licking sounds behind my head!
Jenn Van Den Boomgracilejenn on July 29th, 2010 05:19 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness! so glad you're all okay! Ick! Cat spit!

The other night my Zombie decided to jump on my chest and START LICKING MY MOUTH and I was lying there whimpering thinking, "All right, I love her and don't want her to feel rejected but uuuueeeeerrrrghhhgh!!" So when she finished I ran to the restroom and cleaned up. In seven years she's never done this.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:02 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh poor you! But how sweet that you were so concerned for her feelings! (It's nominative determinism -- she was checking out your taste for when she eats your brains. I tell Mr B that Monster would have never done any of these things had we named her Perfectly Well Behaved.)
Abigail von Normal: omg ewseethingheathen on July 29th, 2010 05:46 pm (UTC)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:03 pm (UTC)
That's what I said!
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blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:07 pm (UTC)
Thankfully, I spotted it before any damage could be done. My bleached locks are all dyed bright red!

It was the weirdest sound, though ...
sassy_cissa: WTFsassy_cissa on July 29th, 2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
I am both amused and disgusted. And I may have shuddered a bit when I imagined the "removal process".

blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:09 pm (UTC)
I think your reactions mirrored mine exactly ;-)
Brissygirl: certified drama queenbrissygirl on July 29th, 2010 08:32 pm (UTC)
That is really gross!

Mum's cats like to eat things they shouldn't as well. Especially Skipper, he'll eat anything from cat toys and rubber bands, to wires (for the tv or stereo), feathers from the teaser toys you get for cats. Basically anything they can find to chew through they will do it.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:12 pm (UTC)
Evil gnashy little teeth! Cookie has previously eaten through the cord of my BOSE headphones and Monster is not to be trusted with wool, to the point that balls with needles through them have walked about the house. But this is the first time either of them has gone for hair ...
(Deleted comment)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:12 pm (UTC)
It was so very wrong!
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on August 2nd, 2010 09:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
maya231maya231 on July 30th, 2010 01:16 am (UTC)
Is it wrong that my first thought was "poor kitty!" and not "poor Brammers?"

That's really a bizarre tale--I think I would have had a nanosecond of heart attack were I in your position. Glad the cat (and your hair) are fine.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 30th, 2010 12:01 pm (UTC)
I think it was probably even less pleasant for her than me, so no, that's not wrong! She's a mad little thing, though. I've no idea why she thought it would be a good idea!