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16 July 2010 @ 11:55 pm
He has other charms ...  
I am not a Romantic.

For most of you reading this will come as no surprise to hear, since although I don't mind the odd bit of romance, Satire, Rationalism, Pragmatism and Grumpy Old Haggisism are terms that will more readily spring to mind. And this is largely because you have never seen me.

Because the problem is: my inside and outside do not match. I look like a figure dropped out of an historical painting (thanks to genetics), and dress like someone from a children's book (thanks to a fashion sense grounded in comedy). To the casual observer, I look the sort of person who has a large gold-framed mirror, a fainting couch and a velvet-lined box filled with old billets-doux.

In the past, this caused me some issues, particularly with men. Indeed, when I was a young lass, there were several who sent unsolicited billets-doux and only ceased after the third or fourth returned with corrections, style annotations and a suggested reading list. By much dint of effort I was able to convince my general acquaintance that I was a woman of practical taste and that it was of far more interest to me whether you could run ten miles and fix a saddle than quote Dante Gabriel Rosetti. Because I had horses and I hate the Pre-Raphaelite poets.

It is possible, however, that I may have taken things a little too far.

Yesterday was the 15th anniversary of my dalliance with Mr Brammers (we live in sin, but quite conventionally so). I had suggested we might go out somewhere and held a vague hope that he could have organised such a thing, perhaps even with a small token of affection, such as a book, or an orange-inked pen. When I staggered in late from work after 7, I half-hoped to be bundled back out the door on an Adventure. Instead, he was playing internet spaceships in his underwear.

Which is fine, he needs his relaxation time. So I suggested that I refresh myself and he come out as soon as he had finished this particular step in defending the galaxy and we head off to one of the many local eateries that can be relied on to provide good nosh without a booking. I had a little read, and a little sit-down, and by then it was 8pm. I popped my head back into the study, he apologised without looking around, his corps were in the middle of something complex and now was a bad time.

Being ever-resilient, I offered to go and gather foodstuffs for us from the local shops, which is how we ended up having fish and chips. I shared my salmon with the Monster cat, while Mr B shouted out that he would be out in a minute, they were nearly done. After completing my dinner, I returned to my book.

Some little time later, I noticed that he was quiet. Investigation revealed that he had gone for a little lie down. Obviously in preparation for significant efforts later in the evening, I assumed. Or ... as I was forced to conclude when he was still snoring at 1am and I had run out of things to knit, read, or comment about on the internet ... not.

So given it was Thursday, and hence bin night, I took the bins down for him (it's his job), had a shower and went to bed. Whereupon he threw an arm across my hips and snurfled something that may have been 'Luxembourg'.

Still, better than 15 years of bad poetry!
FEELS TERRORIST!: Bleach i <3 nerdsmomebie on July 16th, 2010 02:04 pm (UTC)
♥ I will have been with the boy-shaped-thing for ten years this October. Last year on our anniversary he was working late, so I left a rose on his keyboard and a cat macro on his screen. Because that is how geeks roll.

And I believe if either one of us tried to write poetry the other would die, considering it's hard to breathe around all that laughter.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:24 pm (UTC)
That is a TERRIFIC anniversary gift! LOL and Love are very close!

I am allowed to write clerihews and limericks, if there is a good laugh in it ;-)
Keeper of the Superfluous Es!: DarkRedRose/Starrysummerthemostepotente on July 16th, 2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
Congratulations to you and Mr Brammers, darling ♥

blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dear! He is worth the effort of ignoring his more outrageous moments of slackitude.
la_marianela_mariane on July 16th, 2010 02:06 pm (UTC)
I don't know if I should laugh at your post or commisrate. Maybe both?

And I love poetry. I'm just of the firm opinion that it shoud never be written by an amateur.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:27 pm (UTC)
Laughter is the appropriate response ;-)

I am allowed to cheat on Mr Brammers with Simon Armitage or Seamus Heaney if they speak poetry at me. And, of course, David Tennant if he's anywhere in the vicinity ...
Darry Willis: Starbuck snow sex now?nursedarry on July 16th, 2010 02:07 pm (UTC)
I suspect that Mr Brammers and Mr Nursedarry may be brothers-in-arms in the same militia.

His fleet was in such jeopardy on my birthday that he was unable to allow them leave hyperspace even for the time it took for a quickie.

Happy anniversary, darling.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:30 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh lord ... and you know, it is possible, his is an international corps. Still, at least they're keeping the galaxy safe for honest citizens!
winstonmomwinstonmom on July 16th, 2010 02:08 pm (UTC)
My 13 years of marriage will be on August 6, which is two days after my birthday! Do I get double recognition.....nope. I score double points in the forget department. Will this year be different? nope. He has to fly to Singapore for business and he leaves at the beginning of the month.
Last year I sent him an email with the picture of an Iphone sporting my favorite color and I got it. I wonder if the same thing will happen if I send him a picture of a mini cooper :)
Happy living in sin anniversary!!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
What a stinker! I DO think it is worth trying the mini cooper picture, though. Perhaps with a photo of a lovely trip behind it, in case the budget is tight. And thank you!
lotus_lizzylotus_lizzy on July 16th, 2010 02:10 pm (UTC)
Hubbies can be terribly dense and unless you poke them, a lot, they tend to get lost in their own little worlds! Your description of Mr. Brammers sounds a lot like Mr. Lotus. When I went to an overnight training I had hoped my hubby would have cleaned the house, as he would have little to do but. Instead, I found the house messier than I left it, my hubby in the living room, in his underwear, in the dark, playing on his x-box. He said that for the 2 days I was gone he forgot he could turn on the lights.

Men are lost without us.

Congrats on the 15 years and I hope many more years to come. (Although, poke him for me for not taking you out. You should demand compensation.)

blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
Compensation! YES! Especially for his appalling lack of housework. He is actually very good when I go away, which is only an incentive for me to go places without him -- very foolish on his part!

As to Mr Lizzy not turning on the lights and making mess, I think he cosplayed your holiday as a student!

*Hugs back!*
AutumnHearti_autumnheart on July 16th, 2010 02:20 pm (UTC)
Oh, dear. Well at least posting the story on Teh Internets is fitting revenge!

Best wishes for many more years of comfort and joy together.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dear! Look, I've managed not to smother him in his sleep so far, and his foibles are at least amusing ;-) He is very good at putting up with me, too, and I believe there are people in Internet Spaceship Land who have heard some rather amusing tales in the other direction.
Vaysh Swiftstormvaysh on July 16th, 2010 02:21 pm (UTC)
Happy Anniversary! :) The most romantic moments, as you of course know, are the ones when one stumbles accidentally through the neighborhood and happens upon an ice-cream parlour, orders strawberry and vanilla icecream cones and says, randomly, while licking the stuff from each other's lips, "Now this is why I love you."

Also, I totally have a soft spot from Mr. Brammers in my heart. ;)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:46 pm (UTC)
He is a darling, really. And yes, that's real romance! Also, it's made me really want some ice-cream ...
(no subject) - vaysh on July 16th, 2010 02:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - vaysh on July 16th, 2010 04:44 pm (UTC) (Expand)
lee: Love - cement backgroundsnegurochka_lee on July 16th, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC)
Aw, well, congrats anyway? :) Perhaps he was off to... win you the galaxy? :/ I apologise profusely for laughing, but this post made my morning. I fear, however, that I am usually Mr Brammers in this sort of situation. :/
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
HEE! Yes, laughing is the correct response, I'm afraid. He is a complete darling, and I can always buy myself a book and pen ;-)
Kareinakareina on July 16th, 2010 02:42 pm (UTC)
Somehow I don't think you'd still be with him 15 years later if the above story were the sum of what he has to offer. May he continue to display those other charms frequently enough to keep you content through the bonus alone time you weren't expecting...
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
Well, he is hung like a pony ;-)
(no subject) - kareina on July 16th, 2010 11:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
silent hallucination: bones huh?alex_s9 on July 16th, 2010 02:53 pm (UTC)
I am starting to suspect that Mr Bramers comes from a long lost, antipodian branch of my husband's family. The situation you have just described is eerily familiar.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 02:55 pm (UTC)
We have established previously that there are spooky parallels between our lives ;-)
(no subject) - alex_s9 on July 16th, 2010 02:58 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 03:00 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - alex_s9 on July 16th, 2010 03:06 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 03:08 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Cheryl Dysondysonrules on July 16th, 2010 03:07 pm (UTC)
*snorfles* I've discovered that when you want "romantic" you have to create it yourself because that gene does not come with the Y chromosome. But yeah, I'd take Luxembourg over an empty bed any day. :D
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC)
Eh, I can always get myself something nice. And I suspect that Luxembourg is Asleep for Loves you babe (why his endearments sound like Kojak, I cannot tell you ;-))
Loyaulte Me Lieshocolate on July 16th, 2010 03:17 pm (UTC)
you are both perfectly imperfect.

we have been married for 18 years - this all sounds very familiar...

eta : how odd is it that I got a small thrill out of also having a Thursday bin night?

Edited at 2010-07-16 03:18 pm (UTC)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC)
Perfectly imperfect is exactly right! And a perfect man would be ghastly, anyway, what would we talk to our friends about?

It's not odd at all! I share your thrill and a sense that all the best people have a Thursday bin night.
(no subject) - _inbetween_ on July 16th, 2010 07:40 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Bryoneybryoneybrynn on July 16th, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC)
Hee. this made me laugh. And yeah, I love my hubby. We've been together 9 years as of last month, but oh, he only does exactly what he's told with the gestures. If I want flowers, I have to say "I want flowers." If I want a card too, I have to say "I want flowers and a card." This birthday I made the mistake of NOT specifying I wanted a card (figuring my 8 previous birthdays would have tipped him off). yeah, no card. And then an argument about going out at 10pm to get a card (him: but I feel bad; me: well I'd rather have you here right now then an after-the-fact card, so if you go, you're only going for yourself and not for me and it's my birthday; him: but I feel bad; me: you should. now sit down.)

Good thing they have so many other positive attributes! *g*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 03:40 pm (UTC)
Oh Mr Brynn ... the card is the most important part! At least Mr Brammers knows that rule.

And yes, they do score points back for the loyalty, comedy, bedwarming and getting things down off the top shelves ;-)
burdened with glorious purpose: xxflissxx/keira_laughingfemmequixotic on July 16th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC)
Does it help if I admit that, at times, it can be like this even with women? :D

Congratulations on your anniversary, hon. Fifteen years is fantastic. \0/
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 16th, 2010 03:49 pm (UTC)
Before I met him, 15 days was quite good, so Mr B is a new leaf! And he is so very good with the cats ;-)

And yes, it is good to know I am not alone, and I have to confess that I am quite dreadful when it comes to this sort of stuff, too, but I was rather hoping for a decent dinner. Or, you know, shag.
(no subject) - femmequixotic on July 16th, 2010 03:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)