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13 July 2010 @ 12:29 am
Looks about blearily ...  
I had four weeks off work. They were magnificent. Went back today. It was not.

I have two new career plans, the first involves a wildly successful novel about vampires. The second involves finding a dying billionaire and making the last year of his or her life highly entertaining for a mere 5% plus stock options. I can't help feeling the second option is more morally upstanding.

In good news, I made a child squee today because she now possesses red mittens, which apparently are all the Charlie and Lola rage. I also knitted her a matching hat and am awaiting photos so I can squee, too. And on the walk home I was accosted by two labradoodles and a demanding tabby cat, who all demanded pats. Either they read this lj, or I exude the scent of a complete sucker for anything petlike. Very likely the latter, given history. Years of never eating a complete meal at a table near a dog, cat or tame stoat ...

In other good news, HAPPY BIRTHDAY furiosity ! I hope you are having a terrific day, f, or at the very least one involving an unholy amount of cake.

And someone I know here or on Twitter (I am so sorry, but I really do have the short-term memory of sago thanks to too many heavy objects to the head) posted a link to this genius: 8 Things Twilight Has Ruined (Besides Vampires). Please claim the credit if it was you! And go and laugh if you've not already seen it.

EEEEP! I was writing this and a little one of these

fell on my neck! It's a garden skink -- no it's not poisonous! -- and our garden is full of them in summer but they are usually hiding away for most of winter. Since this one had shed its tail, I suspect he's come in for some warmth and encountered one of the cats. How he ended up on my neck I do not know, but I was able to catch him and he is now safely back outside.

ETA: welcome back calanthe_fics ! I wish I had told more people you were temporarily unavailable due to your work with MI6, but am glad it was the expected numpty factor that caused your brief disappearance, rather than a national security emergency!
not your typical annihilatrixfuriosity on July 12th, 2010 02:36 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ♥
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
If you would like some red mittens for winter, let me know your size!
down the hills and round the bendsnorton_gale on July 12th, 2010 02:39 pm (UTC)
Sending the pic of the garden skink to G... you just made his day too. If there's anything he loves, it's SKINKS!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
I love them, too! We have whole sections of the garden devoted to skink habitat, which mostly consists of big flat rocks with crevices underneath and then undergrowth for them to dive into. In summer, they grow to ridiculous size for this variety, and occasionally compete with the carnivorous slugs for the squashed snails I leave about the garden. It's a whole world down there!
libby_drew on July 12th, 2010 02:46 pm (UTC)
I wish I had told more people you were temporarily unavailable due to your work with MI6

You do realize you've just violated the Official Secrets Act. Now Cal will have to kill you. Or at least tie you up and make you write about sparkly vampires.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 02:48 pm (UTC)
The thing is, having met Cal, it is completely plausible to me that she would be some kind of secret agent. All nice looking and sweet on the outside, calculating how many hatpins it will require to kill her way out of the room on the inside ...
silent hallucinationalex_s9 on July 12th, 2010 02:55 pm (UTC)
Or you can marry one of those young, beautiful footballers and then divorce him immediately, taking on ehalf of his income. Still more morally upstanding.

Why didn't you keep the lizard? I love lizards.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 03:05 pm (UTC)
Generations of his extended family live in my garden, so I sent him out to be with them rather than risking the cats inside.

I feel that most young, beautiful footballers would rather a young model, but if you know any who are looking for a still rather fetching older woman with a good classical education, do point him out! I will wear my kinkiest boots ;-)
silent hallucinationalex_s9 on July 12th, 2010 03:08 pm (UTC)
I feel that most young, beautiful footballers would rather a young model

I fear that too, which is a shame, because I wanted to make that my new career as well.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 03:12 pm (UTC)
Your local footballers have far better taste in women than either of my options: I think you have a chance!
winstonmomwinstonmom on July 12th, 2010 04:08 pm (UTC)
Dear Brammers, if your plans finding a billionaire succeed please let me know if said billionaire has a brother or a sister (I'll be willing to take one for the team.) I will promiss a percent off my cut after the relationship comes to an end :)
ps/I think I will balance my guilt for using billionaires by donating large amounts of money to of charities.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC)
Exactly! I will keep an eye out for a very aged pair!
Keeper of the Superfluous Es!: Cedric/Starrysummerthemostepotente on July 12th, 2010 04:59 pm (UTC)
Wait a minte... what does Mr Brammers have to say about you schmoozing with a billionaire/billionairess for a year? Let me guess, his idea? LOL
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 11:12 pm (UTC)
He can be bought!
finntinifinntini on July 12th, 2010 06:20 pm (UTC)
I think if that thing had fallen on my neck, I'd probably still be screaming.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 11:12 pm (UTC)
It was only a little one! (At least I could feel it was warm and soft, had it been hard and scuttling, there would have been shrieks!)
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα_inbetween_ on July 12th, 2010 06:32 pm (UTC)
I knew about the endless suckiness of today's publishing industry before Twilight - really, Harris is just as sickening, as are probably each and every paranormal romance - but I stared in disbelief at the Bronte cover now. Even after having watched Work of Art. Also, IIRC you already settled for the novel as your future money making career half a year ago; I think a whole year with a dying millionaire doesn't mean he's really dying (unless it's a fanfic).

PS: gahd I really hate vampires, another comic artist of mine just succumbed to it desastrously.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 11:11 pm (UTC)
Oh lots of diseases take a while, and it was sort of up to a year. And yes, the writing thing is really what is happening, but I am so slooooooooow.

That Bronte cover IS a thing of terror, I am so sorry about your friend. *Sends hugs* *With no neck biting*
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα_inbetween_ on July 13th, 2010 09:16 am (UTC)
Snooort, oh well, you could write while entertaining your ailing sugar daddy, two flies and all.
Of course writing is slow - if it's fast you'll never get round to editing because that would be too unsurmountable! Look at me! Five years, finally just had the messy draft printed and it came ILLEGIBLE (oh you bloody Arabs again) so I have another excuse to never even try again.
Slow - good. But I challenge you to do NaNo with me?

Oh, he wasn't my friend, just one of "my" creators. Also, as I told someone else, I'm surely not tasty, though probably salty, hm.
trichinopoly ash: stock: tree in a jaraldehyde on July 12th, 2010 08:34 pm (UTC)
red mitts are the best :D

that garden skink is creepy looking but also quite cool. i would've shrieked like a baby if one had fallen on me, but i love photographing reptiles. it's...strange.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 11:10 pm (UTC)
It was only a few centimetres small, so not so bad. Very cute in its boldness!

And yes, they are! I have bought a bunch of the wool so I can make a set for another small girl but am tempted to try to scale the pattern up to grown-up size ...
prone to mischief: Macaroonstreacle_tartlet on July 12th, 2010 09:26 pm (UTC)
a) SKINK! HEEEEEE! I found one in the laundry basket the other day, and gave it safe conduct outside before the cat caught sight of it.

b) Small Girl loves her mittens and bonnet so much that she is taking them for Show and Tell at school today :)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on July 12th, 2010 11:09 pm (UTC)
I have spare wool in case of losses, but if she could attempt to keep hold of them, that would be for the best! Also, YAY! she will be warm and highly amusing to look at!

Hurrah for lizard rescues!
prone to mischief: Macaroonstreacle_tartlet on July 12th, 2010 11:52 pm (UTC)
After the lost hat incident, she and I had a Serious Chat about the importance of putting her things back in her schoolbag, and she is very good at it now! And she was warm on our walk to school this morning, as well as highly amusing ;)

I took photos, but the camera's screen died - not sure if this heralds the demise of the camera itself, but it is quite old and eccentric so I suspect so. I will take more pics when B finds the other camera for me!
Blindmouse: Face the world Lyn-Zblindmouse on July 12th, 2010 11:40 pm (UTC)
I find that Twilight article pretty creepy in the way it judges fannishness, and older people being fannish :/ There are a lot of things to object to in the way Twilight franchise imagines love, but if two of the horrific things it's doing to relationships are causing tennagers to experiment with ice cubes and reviving a woman's sex life by giving her a fantasy that actually works for her, I'm ... not really on the side of the horrified multitudes.

On the other hand, skinks ♥
Brissygirlbrissygirl on July 15th, 2010 08:41 pm (UTC)
We used to have little garden skinks like that everywhere in our yard and around the house. Unfortunately we've been over-run with gecko's. The ones that are kinda transluscent and I imagine the skinks are probably being eaten or left long ago because of the competition for food.