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06 April 2009 @ 09:26 pm
My brain has melted  
Which is good only from the perspective that it renders it unattractive to the tastebuds of the ravening undead.

Why are you blathering on about Zombies, Brammers? you may ask. Ah ha! I say, You are clearly unaware that this month marks the publication of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is a real and actual book.

Having perused the opening chapters (the first three can be downloaded here), I am kicking myself a little, since I have clearly missed an obvious career move. Doing mash-ups of the classics seems so obvious now I think of it. Alas, I did not think of it first. And it is a genuine alas here, since the writer who did think of it is simply not as funny as I would have been.

However, I am not too proud to jump on a comedy-rich bandwagon. Hence, I have decided to devote myself to some new writing: Emma the Vampire Slayer, Mansfield Werewolf Park, Northanger Abbey of the Damned, and, my masterwork, Sense and Insensibility, in which Marianne Dashwood is raised from the dead by her mad scientist sister. 

I may be some time ...

 
 
 
Kieran: hp when pigs flyfilmatleven on April 6th, 2009 12:01 pm (UTC)
I'd like to be your editor. =P
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
Should I ever have time, you will be the first to hear.
maggiemarguerite_26 on April 6th, 2009 12:05 pm (UTC)
Hence, I have decided to devote myself to some new writing: Emma the Vampire Slayer, Mansfield Werewolf Park, Northanger Abbey of the Damned, and, my masterwork, Sense and Insensibility, in which Marianne Dashwood is raised from the dead by her mad scientist sister.

OMG! I ♥ UR ev0l genius. Mansfield Park totally needed a werewolf, I always thought.
maggiemarguerite_26 on April 6th, 2009 12:32 pm (UTC)
CAn I just say that I hate you with the heat of a thousand hells as I am running through plot idea of how Fanny would nurse and Edmund after he was bitten. o.O
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:25 pm (UTC)
I gift that plotline to you. And will even edit it for you ;-)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:24 pm (UTC)
It would have made more sense, I must agree!
goddessrissgoddessriss on April 6th, 2009 12:07 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha...'Girls! Pentagram of Death!' You have definitely missed an obvious career move - it's not too late to jump on the bandwagon, though. I think you should definitely write Sense and Insensibility. Or perhaps start with a different author - Middlemarch: Rise of the Vampires, perhaps? The possibilities are endless...
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:33 pm (UTC)
Mill on the Froth (of blood and entrails)

It's not the first time I have missed the boat. I was famous at university for my 90-second renditions of Shakespearean Histories and Tragedies, complete with mimes and hand puppets.
goddessrissgoddessriss on April 6th, 2009 01:46 pm (UTC)
Complete with mimes and hand puppets? Now that I would pay good money to see! I once wrote a crack version of Macbeth in 6th form which had us all in fits, but reading it now - not so entertaining! Oh to be young again...
AMY 凛☆ラブ☆アタックtomatoe18 on April 6th, 2009 12:18 pm (UTC)
BB, you did not just dedicate an entire entry to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. You did not.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:34 pm (UTC)
I DID!
AMY 凛☆ラブ☆アタックtomatoe18 on April 6th, 2009 02:01 pm (UTC)
So you did. I didn't think you would.

Now that you have, maybe I'll brave this book. See if my brain melts or not.
trichinopoly ash: dan: orly?aldehyde on April 6th, 2009 01:34 pm (UTC)
but i've actually been thinking of getting the book since you tweeted about it! and now brammers has posted about it.

which means I HAVE TO READ IT. even if it is completely cracky [and not of the good variety]. i have a feeling i would like mr. darcy even if he was the living undead :/
AMY 凛☆ラブ☆アタックtomatoe18 on April 6th, 2009 02:03 pm (UTC)
Then go for it. Now there's no reason for us not to check it out because even Brammers has mentioned it. (I just have to wait until the book arrives... whenever that is.)
glass_violet on April 6th, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC)
*falls of chair laughing*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:34 pm (UTC)
(I will send you my copy when I finish it)
valkyriebladesvalkyrieblades on April 6th, 2009 04:55 pm (UTC)
*also collapses in laughter*

I would like to request a copy as well, please! ^_^
glass_violet on April 6th, 2009 11:06 pm (UTC)
Perhaps we could have Thomas Hardy's "Return of the Vampire"? or "The Werewolf of Casterbridge"?, although I really think the world truly needs "Jane Eyre battles the Zombie Apocalypse"...Zombie Bertha could escape from her attic and rampage across the countryside creating an undead army, which Jane must defeat before she can be reunited with poor, maimed (but mercifully un-turned) Rochester! Woot!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 7th, 2009 12:00 am (UTC)
Jane AAAAARRRRGH!
Mansflesh Park!

(We need a writing weekend ...)
glass_violet on April 7th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
The Golden Bowl of Blood!
Wuthering Heights of Horror!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 7th, 2009 02:56 am (UTC)
Portrait of a Ladykiller!
down the hills and round the bendsnorton_gale on April 6th, 2009 12:24 pm (UTC)
The illustrations from that book look really cool.

Good to see that literary mash-ups are selling. And that means my heirs may be able to publish the "Harry Potter and the Slashed-Up Canon" series someday...

blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:43 pm (UTC)
Don't let Jo's lawyers hear you say that, they'll be onto that copyright legislation faster than you can say Disney!
oceaxeoceaxe on April 6th, 2009 02:50 pm (UTC)
Word.
AutumnHearti_autumnheart on April 6th, 2009 12:25 pm (UTC)
I would love to read an attempt at Emma the Vampire Slayer!

I believe Northanger Abbey would definitely be well suited to a nest of completely camp vampires, and second the call for the Werewolf of Mansfield Park :g:.


blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:53 pm (UTC)
OBVIOUSLY Mr Elton is undead, and Frank Churchill is some sort of Spike analogue ;-)
It's a Deensedeensey on April 6th, 2009 12:36 pm (UTC)
You'd make a MINT!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 01:54 pm (UTC)
YUSS!
Mific: punk duckmific on April 6th, 2009 12:57 pm (UTC)
Cheating slightly as the C19th writers are already in the Gothic period, but don't forget Jane Eerie and Middlemarch of the Zombies :)

blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 03:39 pm (UTC)
YES! HEE! And don't forget Murdering Heights, Daniel Dekiller and Silas Ravener ...
oceaxeoceaxe on April 6th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
I've already written one mash-up for HP, and I can't wait to post it, but I'm possibly using it for my Beltane fic if I can't manage to write anything better.

I'm also working on turning Jane Eyre into a Harry Potter story. Mind you, so far I haven't had to change hardly a thing but the names.
oceaxeoceaxe on April 6th, 2009 02:53 pm (UTC)
I meant to say that I'm maybe using the first mash-up as my Beltane fic, so I can't tell you what it is, but believe me... it's fucking great.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
I DO believe you! *looks forward!*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 6th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
SNORT!!!!
oceaxeoceaxe on April 6th, 2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
I know, it's so obvious as to be hilarious. The put-upon orphan, the imperious, hateful family, school-as-salvation, the dark, mysterious, ugly, bad-tempered man who can't leave the gorgeous, elfin young thing alone... it's a natural.
maya231maya231 on April 6th, 2009 09:59 pm (UTC)
But is it any good? *pets bunnies*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 7th, 2009 02:54 am (UTC)
So-so judging by the first three chapters, but I will be buying it to live with my Austens on my Classics shelves, so they can giggle at it (I am certain the books talk to each other while I sleep).
acromantularacromantular on April 7th, 2009 01:17 am (UTC)
Oh, please do. ;)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 7th, 2009 02:54 am (UTC)
I realised last night that Mansflesh Park was the obvious choice ...
&helena;uminohikari on April 7th, 2009 02:22 am (UTC)
...

in which Marianne Dashwood is raised from the dead by her mad scientist sister.
*LAUGHING FOREVER*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on April 7th, 2009 02:55 am (UTC)
You just know that Colonel Brandon would be standing anxiously inthe corner, asking if he could donate an organ ...
glass_violet on April 7th, 2009 09:54 am (UTC)
And just think! When you sell the film rights to your VicLit/Horror Pulp novel, Helena Bonham Carter could star! Hurrah!