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21 February 2009 @ 01:07 am
Young people today ...  
I was on the train home from work last night. It was crowded and there were a gaggle of blonde teenagers in the doorway who clambered on at the stop before mine and arrayed themselves around the doors. They nattered about hair, nails, one of their boyfriends who was unfortunate in the pants department.

I looked at them, and began to mentally rehearse my comments that would see them move out of the way of all the disembarking passengers at my stop (for some reason, it's always me who says something first, I have come to accept my role in the daily commute). 'Girls,' I planned to say, 'could you let us out, please?' I would be kind and a little older-sounding, because I knew they were not bad girls, just flighty and young and unlikely to have the spatial awareness one develops with age.

As the train pulled into the station, the loudest blonde girl looked behind her, looked at the crowded vestibule, then turned to her friends. 'We should jump off to let people out and get back on!' she announced.

'Yeah, good plan!' said the second-loudest girl.

As the rest of us disembarked, it was like a row of nuns passing a group of schoolgirls who had just won an award for civic mindedness. Everyone had a little word for them: 'Thanks!' 'What lovely girls!' 'Cheers kids!'

They all beamed, and we jaded inner-city dwellers mistily agreed that there were still parents doing A Good Job out there.

Of course, there are also The Other Sort.

Tonight, we were walking up to Newtown (which, in summer, is akin to descending into a Dantean hell) when a Young Man in a Porsche 911 came screaming around the corner and revved his engine painfully so that he could catch up swiftly to the line of traffic doing 15mph 50 yards ahead.

'That,' said J, 'Is the car of someone who has nothing in his pants.'

'What about his driving?' our friend asked.

'It's like an exclamation point,' I said. 'No really, there's nothing in there and I have no idea what to do with it!'

We all nodded in agreement and then a man went by on a rattletrap bicycle.

'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. We nodded agreement again.
 
 
 
Bubba: Winstonabsynthedrinker on February 20th, 2009 02:37 pm (UTC)
I wonder what my car says about my "pants". Ah women! What a mystery.

Peace,
Bubba
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 02:46 pm (UTC)
There's a typology that takes into account marque, model, year, colour, driver, driving style and environment to come up with a decision on whether the car says positive or negative things about the driver.

As a general rule, driving a car that you like or that is at least practical, and not being a twat about it, means it is impossible to go too wrong ;-)
Mind you, there's a certain irony... - wemyss on February 20th, 2009 03:22 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Mind you, there's a certain irony... - blamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:33 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Cheek. - wemyss on February 20th, 2009 03:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Re: Cheek. - blamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:52 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - grey_hunter on February 21st, 2009 11:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 08:39 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - grey_hunter on February 22nd, 2009 05:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Bryoneybryoneybrynn on February 20th, 2009 02:52 pm (UTC)
*g*

This totally made me smile.

And yay for the girls. Really. I've been working on teaching Ben how to "share the sidewalk" and wait for his turn on the escalator. Of course, he has trouble understanding why he can't stand on the seats of the subway in his wet boots so he can look out the window. We're working on kneeling. Oh, urban parenting!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:00 pm (UTC)
Well, he is still a toddler, he has some time up his sleeve before he starts Receiving Looks ;-)

I have been noticing good children and young people lately, they often belong to my friends and seem to be made by attention and explanation rather than the ranting that was more common in the 60s and 70s.
trichinopoly ash: art: lincolnaldehyde on February 20th, 2009 03:04 pm (UTC)
ehehe that's so amusing ;)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
The girls were lovely, and as for the tosser, well, his car is probably the last valuable thing in his portfolio ...
piratesmile331: angelpiratesmile331 on February 20th, 2009 03:12 pm (UTC)
*lol*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)
;-)
Pureblood Princessraitala on February 20th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. - I love little exchanges like this, when the banter just flows. Half the time they don't work when you try and tell someone else, but this is just really funny :D
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:51 pm (UTC)
I surround myself with clever and funny people so that I have better dinner party conversation. But since no one cooks these days, it all ends up here ;-)
Catscatsintheattic on February 20th, 2009 03:26 pm (UTC)
You know what I like best about your two little stories: they could have happened here, too. I felt completely at home when I visualised those two scenes.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 20th, 2009 03:53 pm (UTC)
Nice young folk and ghastly drivers in twatmobiles are universal!
(no subject) - catsintheattic on February 20th, 2009 03:59 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Anna Fugazziannafugazzi on February 20th, 2009 03:59 pm (UTC)
As the rest of us disembarked, it was like a row of nuns passing a group of schoolgirls who had just won an award for civic mindedness. Everyone had a little word for them: 'Thanks!' 'What lovely girls!' 'Cheers kids!'
♥♥♥♥

Good kids give you such a warm glow, don't they?

'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. We nodded agreement again.
LOL!!!

We used to live around the corner from the Bad Kids high school - kids who had been kicked out of other high schools for being thugs, plus kids from a subsidized housing neighbourhood made up mostly of Somalian refugees. Many of them hung out in gangs outside the school, smoking & swearing (mostly white thug-children) or posturing & looking intimidating (Somalian kids). One day my six-year-old fell off his bike right in front of a large (10-15 kids) gang, while I was too far away to help right away, and it was incredibly moving to watch how every last one of those fierce-looking kids - mostly boys - dashed over immediately to see if he was OK, pick up his bike, and give him encouraging words. By the time I got there, he was drying his tears and getting ready to get back on, while one of the boys held his bike steady.

Never saw that school quite the same way again.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 08:53 am (UTC)
OH! How delightful! That's the thing I have found about The Bad Kids, they are often capable of being fantastic and just need to shift the way they see themselves. Sadly, adults around them are often little help, but I am willing to bet that your gratitude and thanks made them all feel pretty damn good about themselves that day.
Anna Fugazziannafugazzi on February 20th, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)
Oh and
I nearly forgot my favourite teen bus story! I'm riding on the bus, 1993 or so, when a group of kids gets on. About five or six of them, mostly boys, all in black or scruffywear, looking goonish. The city I was in had seven federal penitentiaries, and judging from their clothing and colourful vocabulary, these kids looked like they probably belonged to families of inmates. They start talking loudly about f'ing this and motherf'ing that, and I start wishing the bus driver would hurry the f up.

Then one of the boys mentions that he knows someone who just came out, and his parents are ripshit and have kicked him out. I brace myself for the inevitable fag jokes.

"Are you serious? Holy f. That's so f'ing stupid."

"Yeah, like, what a couple of f'ing losers. And, like, his mom's all 'How can you do this to me?'"

"Bitch."

"No shit. Like, Sure, bitch, he's decided to be gay just to piss you off."

"People need to get a f'ing life."

"Yeah, and some of his friends, like, won't even talk to him any more."

"Assholes."

"What, they're worried they're gonna get fag cooties?"

"Yeah, probably. It's like, Get over yourself! He's not gonna be f'ing you, you f'ing losers, so what the f does it matter who he wants to do it with, you know?"


I wanted to hug the whole surly, black-clad lot of them. Warm fuzzies for the rest of the day :) :) :)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 09:00 am (UTC)
Re: Oh and
Oh bless! I want to hug them, too!

I was on a bus in NZ years ago with a squad of huge Maori Yoof swearing and carrying on behind me, and I was just starting to wonder if I wanted to move closer to the front of the bus when it reached their stop. As they filed off, they one by one looked down the aisle and called out 'Thank you, Driver!'

Their mums and dads would have been proud.
old_enoughold_enough on February 20th, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
My husband rides a "rattletrap bicycle" around town every day. I've just passed your admiration on to him. ;)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 09:01 am (UTC)
Thoroughly deserved, I am certain!
(Deleted comment)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 09:11 am (UTC)
A woman wth a BMX is, by definition, utterly cool.

(I have photographs of two-year-old me at Easter with a chocolate rabbit almost as tall as I am. I do not think I have ever been happier than I am in those images ;-)
Shivshiv5468 on February 20th, 2009 06:40 pm (UTC)
But what does car size say about ability to iron?

ENquiring minds want to know.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 09:09 am (UTC)
Vintage cars that require manual work are good indicators of aptitude for all types of housework.

If only James May were blond, he might be your perfect man!
(no subject) - shiv5468 on February 22nd, 2009 09:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 09:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shiv5468 on February 22nd, 2009 09:27 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 09:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shiv5468 on February 22nd, 2009 09:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
Seshetasesheta_66 on February 20th, 2009 07:10 pm (UTC)
Hee! I was amused by your thoughts as you prepared for the needed talk with the young girls. I've often wondered if others have such conversations running through their minds, preparing for what's to come (because I do it all the time, especially if it's going to be confrontational at all). :D

But I laughed heartily at your assessment of the Porsche driver. And the bicycle rider. Heh. Thanks for the smiles.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:34 am (UTC)
All the finest people have mental discussions with themselves, of this I am sure ;-)
makes me mellow right down to my soulfrances_veritas on February 20th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
Can your recaps about what goes on in your daily routines always be like this?

♥ ♥ ♥
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:35 am (UTC)
I will try to have nice days, so they can!
&helena;uminohikari on February 20th, 2009 09:16 pm (UTC)
How long does the train stop? Because that just sounds like the girls would have trouble getting back on on time. >>
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:38 am (UTC)
Oh there's more than adequate time to pop off and get back on. The guards also watch to make sure everyone is on before they shut the doors.

It is a standard thing to clear out of the vestibule either by moving in when you get onto the train or else by jumping off and back on, so that others can leave the train easily in this city. But Rude People don't. Happily, these girls turned out to be lovely.
Meredyth: Myrtlemeredyth_13 on February 20th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC)
roflmao

I am of the firm belief that to even test-drive a Porsche you have to be able to demonstrate a) a very small dick, and b) an ego you have to pack into a 20' container to move it around.

I have felt this way since childhood. And when all the Porsche fans start throwing things at me and saying nyah nyah but what about Ferrari drivers? I say back to them a) it takes balls to drive one, regardless of dick capacity, and b) hey, he has a Ferrari, he doesn't NEED a dick. ;)

What's funny, though, is that C has picked up this habit from Top Gear of calling anyone who annoys him on the road a Cock! While at the same time being sure they don't have one.

As to my other theory? (I'm sure you want to know this) - I believe in the exponential reverse exhaust pipe/dick theory. I'm pretty sure a bright girl like you can work this one out with me going into detail, right?
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:39 am (UTC)
Well, you do live with a cyclist ;-)

(J says that Ferraris are really high-end tractors and should be treated as such)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 22nd, 2009 10:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 22nd, 2009 10:59 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 23rd, 2009 10:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 23rd, 2009 10:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 23rd, 2009 10:17 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 23rd, 2009 10:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 23rd, 2009 10:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 23rd, 2009 10:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 23rd, 2009 10:26 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 23rd, 2009 10:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - meredyth_13 on February 23rd, 2009 10:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on February 23rd, 2009 11:32 am (UTC) (Expand)
Randy: SCA devicedrgaellon on February 21st, 2009 12:28 am (UTC)
Cheers! Thanks for the laugh. :)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:42 am (UTC)
You are welcome.
themadpokerthemadpoker on February 21st, 2009 12:33 am (UTC)
I love being pleasantly surprised by people. I remember once, I was stuck at the library and I needed to do my prayers. Usually I'll just use an empty study room but it was full - a bunch of fairly rough looking guys so I was really nervous about asking them if I could maybe get the room for a few minutes. I talked myself into it and they were so nice about it! They were all 'sure, sure, it's no problem' and they cleared out a right away. I went around telling everyone how awesome they were the rest of the day. xD
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 10:45 am (UTC)
That IS awesome! And I bet they all felt good that they were able to help you out, and now I feel happy hearing about them, so the cycle of goodness expands!
Joanimeartistjo on February 21st, 2009 02:08 am (UTC)
"revved his engine painfully so that he could catch up swiftly to the line of traffic doing 15mph 50 yards ahead."

XDDD What a wonderful way to describe this.

For my nice-teen story, I once saw a college student, when he heard an elderly, blind man ask the bus driver which bus he needed to take next to get to XYZ, guide the man to the proper stop. I was all, "Yay! Not every teenager is a spoiled, self-centered brat!"
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 11:04 am (UTC)
You do have to wonder at the reasoning some drivers go through.

Oh, that's a lovely story, too! This is the nice teenager thread ...
Gossgossymer on February 21st, 2009 03:41 am (UTC)
'Hung like a pony,' muttered J. We nodded agreement again.

*hacks up a lung* HAHAHAHAHAHA, TOTAL LOVE
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 11:04 am (UTC)
He's a good boy ;-)
maya231maya231 on February 21st, 2009 10:22 am (UTC)
spatial awareness You are so diplomatic.

J. sounds like fun. Hmm, so I wonder what a woman's car says about her then. *muses*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 11:06 am (UTC)
J is hilarious.

Women's cars are less telling, though the extreme sportscars or SUVs show Certain Issues, and really messy cars often indicate either low housekeeping skills, or else a spotless home with the car as the place all the crap goes.
glass_violet on February 22nd, 2009 06:08 am (UTC)
hee! found you!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on February 22nd, 2009 08:12 am (UTC)
Oh noes!

Erm ... writing Potterfic is just like sketching in galleries. It is, really!
(no subject) - glass_violet on February 22nd, 2009 09:01 am (UTC) (Expand)