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07 September 2013 @ 12:54 am
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Drone  
Previously in Australian politics:

Harry Potter waged a valiant war against the man considered the premier dark wizard of our times back in 2007 and emerged victorious.
In 2010, he was rolled by his allegedly loyal offsiders Ron and Hermione and retired to the back benches, then the front benches, then the back benches again.
In 2013, he finally won back the leadership and took Australia to an election.

He is the man who saw Australia through the GFC with a record that the IMF, the World Bank, and several Nobel-Prize winning economists call remarkable and which most of my friends and family back in Britain call 'you lucky, lucky bastards'. Admittedly his party is mostly filled with muppets, but a lot of them are competent at their jobs, if not at acting like grown ups.

He is very unlikely to be the PM by the end of tomorrow. Instead, it will probably be Vincent Crabbe:

A man who spent the years from 2010 to 2013 being a misogynist twat, blocking every piece of legislation he could, wearing Speedos in public, and WHO RELEASED HIS DETAILED POLICIES YESTERDAY.


Among them was a policy stating that they would have an opt-out internet censorship mandated for all Australian ISPs.

The beautiful Draco Malfoy went on radio to 'defend' it, which he did with a lot of 'Err …' (Since he clearly thought it was bollocks.)

A few hours later, it was declared that that wasn't their policy at all, it was just a typo.

These people are tipped to win by 20 seats.

I was going to write something comedic about the whole thing, but in truth, I am just much too depressed.

The LNP are less overtly Muppety than the ALP, but they are economic gibbons by any genuine standard and the only people who can argue otherwise are economic illiterates who think that austerity works.

SO I am spending the evening crocheting and eating ice-cream instead.

My favourite political cartoon has been recommending that we all build a Mirabella-free bunker and spray it liberally with Brandis repellent. For those who have no idea what a Mirabella or Brandis is, you are fortunate, fortunate people!

I am dreaming of either another 1993 Victory for the True Believers, or a Malfoy-Gambaro LNP post-election coup. A girl can hope!
OzRatbag2ozratbag2 on September 6th, 2013 03:54 pm (UTC)
Tony in sluggo's really is the last straw in what has been a shitty campaign - from both sides.
May Draco save us all from the crap that is to follow.
I only need to look at the promises touted by the Libs in NSW to know exactly how much slash and burn is about to occur. :(
connorblond: fc bayern playersconnorblond on September 6th, 2013 03:56 pm (UTC)
Well, we kind of have - not quite the same situation but some strange elections ahead of us here in Germany, too. So rest assure that you're not alone in this.

Reginal elections are in a week, nationals in two.
I will spend my evening watching football (soccer). It's much more uplifting to see fit men in football kits :)
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα: Jul4_inbetween_ on September 6th, 2013 05:02 pm (UTC)
For some reason - probably searching for bad news from my employers became so ingrained that I can't help glancing through the papers - I read a comparison of Rudd Abbot the other day. It was in another language because I remember the description of 24 hour Rudd seemed odd, then remembered you speaking of Rudd bot. From that first article I came away unsure which one you had liked (the bot memory didn't help), and it was only today when I read right wing Abbott would win that I was sure you were for the Chinese speaking hard working round faced one (IIRC you also liked Hermione, so that complicated things further).

It sucks. But we never really heard of that good stretch in OZ (did hear about exemplary NZ a few times); last time we noticed it was also a horrid jowly bad leader. So cudos in retrospect.
Emmaemmacmf on September 6th, 2013 05:41 pm (UTC)
I think the Australian Sex Party* have the right idea. Australia is getting fucked in more ways than one.

(Their insane campaign advert aired over here on Adam Hills's The Last Leg this week)
astardanced77astardanced77 on September 7th, 2013 12:10 am (UTC)
In the ACT we are bracing for some pretty tough years. Odds are the ACT will end up in recession after the public service cuts. I don't think anyone believes we'll lose 12,000 jobs through 'natural attrition'. However, there are some bright spots-e.g. polls suggesting Sophie Mirabella might lose her seat. I'm also enjoying the suggestion that Arthur Sinodinos might lose his seat to Pauline Hanson. In these parlours times, we find humour where we can!

As we enter the era of George Bushesque gaffes and a government willing to trash the country's economy and reputation in pursuit of its own ideological goals, I will say what I spent the long Howard years saying - "I didn't vote for them".
blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 7th, 2013 02:55 am (UTC)
I am considering having T-shirts made!

Mirabella losing her seat would be one tiny plus. She is so horrible! But we would still have Pyne.
astardanced77astardanced77 on September 7th, 2013 04:23 am (UTC)
These are also the people that posted a change to their child care policy, a subject one would think many voters would be interested in, on Thursday afternoon without any form of media announcement. The policy lowers staff qualification requirement and raises staff to child ratios.

On the other hand, I hold no real brief for Kevin Rudd, who is responsible for the loss of several very talented politicians for the country. Best and very unlikely scenario would be Labor winning and Rudd losing his seat!

Edited at 2013-09-07 04:29 am (UTC)
ecosopherecosopher on September 7th, 2013 02:59 am (UTC)
I will say what I spent the long Howard years saying - "I didn't vote for them".

Me too. Ugh, honestly. I think I am going to make brownies.
astardanced77astardanced77 on September 7th, 2013 04:30 am (UTC)
Mmmm, brownies....
ecosopherecosopher on September 8th, 2013 11:53 am (UTC)
Ended up making a chocolate-orange Madeira cake instead. Perhaps if I end up with type II diabetes from all the sweet things I'll need to cope with the next three years, I can then sue the government...
shu_shu_sleepsshu_shu_sleeps on September 7th, 2013 02:40 am (UTC)
You are not alone in your depression.... I am out tonight, at an Army dinner dance thing, surrounded by people who will be celebrating the likely change of government, in front of me, one of the public servants whose job may well not exist shortly as Tony sets about dismantling the ACT economy.
On other news, you may need to visit me soon, my J-cat has just been diagnosed as diabetic, and will needs visits from all his favourite people to keep his spirits up as he gets used to me doing blood glucose checks and giving him twice daily insulin injections....
blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 7th, 2013 02:54 am (UTC)
We definitely need to visit you soon as we have been shameful about not making it down there! We had winter plans, but were hit so hard with Sydney plague that we spent about 6 weeks in bed. This weekend is replace the sofa (Moushka has gone to live with Taryn so we need not keep it smelling of kitty wazz anymore :-), and then we should schedule a date!)
shu_shu_sleepsshu_shu_sleeps on September 7th, 2013 10:30 pm (UTC)
Looking forward to it.
george pushdragonpushdragon on September 7th, 2013 03:08 am (UTC)
The Senate is the Philosopher's Stone that MUST AT ALL COSTS BE KEPT OUT OF THE HANDS OF EVIL!

What I don't get is how voters and media have turned off their critical faculties - nobody seems to think that it's a big deal for the Liberals not to know what their internet filter policy is.

I hope the icecream helps, I'll be turning to something stronger.

astardanced77astardanced77 on September 7th, 2013 04:28 am (UTC)
LOL! I have some hopes that the second ACT Senate seat might go to the Greens. Fingers crossed, at any rate.

Watching Tony try to negotiate a hostile Senate should at least be entertaining in a black humour kind of way.
george pushdragonpushdragon on September 7th, 2013 02:08 pm (UTC)
Yes, if there's a hostile senate, it will be amusing to watch his skills in conciliation and consensus building in action. Let's hope ...
blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 7th, 2013 11:27 am (UTC)
Oh Push …

I think I might need gin.

Three years of government by morons.

At least we'll have Clive to giggle at looking at the current flow of preferences.
george pushdragonpushdragon on September 7th, 2013 02:06 pm (UTC)
Well, government morons and Draco Malfoy. I'm confident Malcolm will give us the best second-rate NBN we can possibly have.

Has Clive Palmer worked out that he'll have to spend the next three years sitting in Parliament House, responding to angry constituent letters about fencing disputes and tree root damage, without holding any kind of balance of power? I feel a by-election coming on.
Sin: sinfest - wtf?sinden on September 7th, 2013 06:59 am (UTC)
Dude, you should come over here. We are planning on watching Phryne, Iron Man 3, eating cheese and pate and crying into our pillows if it goes completely pear-shaped.

You will be able to hear the howls if it does, being as we are in Graynlder -- the leftist of the left of Sydney electorates. We went aquamarine at the last election with a large swing to Green from Labour.
Melpollymel on September 7th, 2013 09:21 am (UTC)
So far, Phryne Fisher, start of Iron Man 3 and sobbing.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 7th, 2013 09:40 am (UTC)
I am reorganising my fabric collection in a determined bid to spend the next three years crafting and ignoring!

The tragedy is that I will probably be economically better off, it's just that I will have to cycle past more homeless people as our nation tramples merrily on the poor :-(
Sin: h50 - danny is reduced to thissinden on September 7th, 2013 11:10 am (UTC)
We're going the herb garden option.

blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 7th, 2013 11:17 am (UTC)
Our goverment will supply all the manur you need.

Oh god, Julie Bishop foreign minister. *WEEPS*
Melpollymel on September 7th, 2013 11:23 am (UTC)
Don't even think about who will get portfolios. That's grief for another day.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 7th, 2013 11:24 am (UTC)
Sophie Mirabella might lose. This is the only fact getting me through the night!
Melpollymel on September 7th, 2013 11:35 am (UTC)
I kinda love Steven Smith, I'm very sad he's retiring.
Sin: ahem - stitch wants to say somethingsinden on September 7th, 2013 11:42 am (UTC)
You and me both. That expression during the "describe Tony Abbott as a leader" was definitely that of 'I just threw up a little in my mouth'.

I am really sad for him retiring. I hope they keep bringing him back for all elections.
Sin: sga - teyla sighsinden on September 7th, 2013 11:38 am (UTC)
Barnaby Joyce, Acting Prime Minister.

prone to mischieftreacle_tartlet on September 7th, 2013 11:51 am (UTC)
Oh, dear lord...
Sin: merlin - arthur doesn't believe yousinden on September 7th, 2013 11:55 am (UTC)
When you think it can't get worse -- IT CAN!
OzRatbag2: optomist guideozratbag2 on September 7th, 2013 05:28 pm (UTC)
Well, he'll certainly be acting. Pfft!
Sin: ahem - stitch wants to say somethingsinden on September 8th, 2013 04:40 am (UTC)
Amongst other things.
prone to mischieftreacle_tartlet on September 7th, 2013 11:55 am (UTC)
I'm going to be buying a lot of duty free gin on the way home...
mrsquizzical: driving lessons rupertcrossmrsquizzical on September 7th, 2013 01:43 pm (UTC)
so sad. not surprised, but super super pissed off.
OzRatbag2: optomist guideozratbag2 on September 7th, 2013 05:17 pm (UTC)
Disgusted with the whole thing would be putting it mildly.

Hmm...under new management. I wonder if that's Tony- speak for 'couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery?'
Good luck stopping the boats, Tony. No one has managed it yet and they've been coming since 1788.
The policy of government detaining children makes me ashamed to be an Australian. :(

Edited at 2013-09-07 05:19 pm (UTC)
OMG it's full of STARS!: EwanHidingleelastarsky on September 28th, 2013 11:56 pm (UTC)
Too depressing for words.