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21 August 2010 @ 10:44 pm
I HAVE A SOLUTION!  
Right. Australia has decided to stride boldly back into the 1950s and is following Britain's lead in electing a hung parliament.

It's not certain yet, but it's looking very likely. But I have a solution!

The ALP will obviously seek to hold onto their two friendly independents, and can make a sincere offer to the Green who has won the seat of Melbourne, so they only need one more person.

Obviously, they should look across the parliament and extend the hand of friendship to one who is their natural compatriot, one who holds many of their values dear, one who would be willing to listen to a friendly voice after years of suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous party members.

And it's not as though he would be hard to woo. Give him a good spot on the front bench and he'd shine. He's smart, he's charismatic, he has fabulous hair. In fact, given the inevitable bloodbath that will occur in the Labor caucus after this disaster, why not skip past the bitter recriminations and internecine factional battles and just offer him the top job as an irresistible incentive to change his colours? 

Yes, Australians, you know what I'm saying. Our next Labor Prime Minister -- Malcolm Turnbull.
 
 
 
Brissygirlbrissygirl on August 21st, 2010 12:49 pm (UTC)
Wasn't he a labor MP before he defected to the Liberals?
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 21st, 2010 01:08 pm (UTC)
It's an outrageous calumny! He just used to hang with Labor-type people, they were casual friends, there was no sex!
boodiedharawal on August 21st, 2010 01:47 pm (UTC)
I knew Malcolm way back when, way way back when, before he startled me completely by turning up as a liberal one day.

There was sex involved 8-)
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 21st, 2010 01:52 pm (UTC)
Well, I suppose the Young Labor girls are generally quite hot.

Unless it wasn't the girls, in which case I want DETAILS!
boodiedharawal on August 22nd, 2010 01:03 am (UTC)
*grin*

No, though Malcolm was VERY dashing and quite alluring and staggeringly intelligent, he only swung one way.

Oh and he's also an awesome kisser too 8-)
lokifanlokifan on August 21st, 2010 02:41 pm (UTC)
WELL WELL WELL. That's both awesome and bewildering. /stranger commenting on this

Of course, I am irrestibly reminded of the Draco = Turnbull comparison!
Cerise: SeanB Hmmmwivern on August 21st, 2010 01:01 pm (UTC)
I think that could work.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 21st, 2010 01:06 pm (UTC)
The only downside I can see is that Kevin would pull his stitches he'd be laughing so hard.
Emmaemmaco on August 21st, 2010 01:21 pm (UTC)
The perfect solution! Kerry hasn't mentioned it as a possiblity yet, but it can be a matter of time...
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 21st, 2010 01:22 pm (UTC)
If only I could tweet him!
Kilian Ruadh: Coy McCoyms_kilian on August 21st, 2010 01:34 pm (UTC)
Yes! Salvation is at hand!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 21st, 2010 01:53 pm (UTC)
At least satirists are well placed!
(Anonymous) on August 21st, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
Ohgodpleaseyes.

I have been looking forward to reading your election coverage all evening. ;)

I even forwarded your HP summary to my parents, because my mum is a nerd and I knew she'd enjoy it almost as much as I did.

- Jen.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 21st, 2010 02:49 pm (UTC)
Sorry it's so minimal, I am far too knackered to write much. Later!
lyraslyras on August 21st, 2010 02:57 pm (UTC)
*cries* It is kind of ironic, after the UK election. What are the chances of two hung parliaments?

(Not that I particularly liked Labor, either. But Tony Abbott makes me go >:( .)
nahimana: idkemerald_dragon8 on August 21st, 2010 05:37 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHA this is so true. Malcolm Turnbull is the most left-wing person in politics, isn't that sad?

This election is so bloody depressing, I'm going to sleep and hopefully I'll wake up and it will all be a horrible dream.

On the plus side, I got to vote. And I'm in a labor seat which stayed labor. On the downside, I actually don't like our labor candidate, he's creepy and I was hoping the Greens woman would get it. Unlikely, but still...
Meredyth: Mehmeredyth_13 on August 21st, 2010 10:46 pm (UTC)
That's novel - of course, I think we'd be better off putting you in charge, quite frankly. At least behind the scenes. You could be the puppet master.

*giggles tiredly*

I'm past caring - that we're even in this situation right now is sad beyond words.
Welcome to Ant Country: Still not boringant_queen on August 22nd, 2010 12:25 am (UTC)
Oh please let that happen. Let this be Malcolm's sweet revenge on Tony and the other right wing nutjobs in the Libs that voted him out. This would make me smile a lot.

Just think, a threesome of Malcolm, Julia, and Bob. It would be gorgeous...
quatrefoilquatrefoil on August 22nd, 2010 02:29 am (UTC)
Two friendly independents?

Who?

drbunsendrbunsen on August 22nd, 2010 05:46 am (UTC)
Well, Wilkie would be one, probably; I thought the other three were all staunch Tories?
quatrefoilquatrefoil on August 22nd, 2010 05:54 am (UTC)
1. I don't think it's by any means certain that Wilkie will get that seat - it depends on Greens preferences, and they issued an open how to vote card so no-one really knows whether their preferences will flow to Labor or Wilkie first.

2. I think it would be a mistake to assume that Wilkie will necessarily support Labor - it's probably best to think of him in terms of being a Democrat and they're a mixed bunch.

3. The other independents are not particularly staunchly conservative - they left the National Party, at least two of them loathe Barnaby Joyce (see today's SMH interview with Bob Katter) and their views on the National Broadband Network, health and the tentatively proposed eastern seabord rail link are much closer to Labor's policies.
remuslives23: never estimate stupid people in large grremuslives23 on August 22nd, 2010 05:43 am (UTC)
I'm going to emigrate. It's the only solution if my choices for PM are Tony Abbott, Julia Gillard and Malcolm Turnbull.

*spins globe and picks a country*
george pushdragonpushdragon on August 22nd, 2010 07:52 am (UTC)
*weeps inconsolably*

Have you seen the AEC's latest stats? They have the tally at 70 Labor, 72 Liberal, 1 Green, 5 in doubt, and 2 Independent. Both "Independents" are in NSW.

So you were on the right track before. Looks like Bob Katter's electorate has seceded.