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25 March 2010 @ 11:07 pm
Irony is lost on some ...  
This is not a post on the recent American health care bill. Because I do not have the five hours it would require me to write it nor a week for dealing with discussion (I am still woefully behind with previous discussions!)

However, today has confirmed in my mind that I am reasonably and happily moderate. Because today I burst out laughing at both an International Socialist wearing Converse and smoking Dunhills, and at a Tea Party aficionado assuring me that they would rather die than let the government into their home -- over the internet.

In other news, Scrap the kitten is still doing well. And Mr Shuffles the Zombie Elephant now has a new official name -- Pathi Harn, Thai for miracle. Bless his wrinkly little brain-sucking heart.

I also have a new career plan. I am going to make a cape and find some shiny tights and become a Super Hero. My name will be The Reasoner and my Mission will be travelling the world slapping stupid people.

Actually, that sounds too much like hard work. I'm going back to writing and will try to fit in a bit of satire now and then. Far easier!



 
 
 
Vaysh Swiftstormvaysh on March 25th, 2010 12:45 pm (UTC)
Ah, but Brammers, it may be hard work but the world neeeeeeeds the Reasoner!!!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 12:46 pm (UTC)
But it'll wear out my writing hand!

Maybe if I find a good slapping stick ...
Vaysh Swiftstormvaysh on March 25th, 2010 12:54 pm (UTC)
All that reasoning is done with words only. :D
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
Oh Vaysh ... if you could reason with these people using words, then there would be no need for The Reasoner!
realityadminrealityadmin on March 25th, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
Vaysh Swiftstormvaysh on March 25th, 2010 12:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, I see you found Tarajw already! There you go!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 12:59 pm (UTC)
I worry for her little arms, though ... I have all those years of lifting foals and carrying lazy cats to fall back on when I need muscle endurance.
Taratarajw on March 25th, 2010 12:46 pm (UTC)
Need a sidekick or research assistant finding these stupid people? I know there are plenty that happily make themselves known but some of them are disguised!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 12:50 pm (UTC)
I'd say yes to the research assistant, except that with no effort at all I was able to line up four years' worth of work.

But the sidekick role is wide open -- how's your smacking arm?
Taratarajw on March 25th, 2010 12:53 pm (UTC)
Primed and ready to go.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:00 pm (UTC)
Oh you tempt me!

Though I feel we should give satire and sarcasm a little more of a go, just because they involve less running away when guns are drawn ...
Holly: I LICKS YOUUUUU!hollyxu on March 25th, 2010 12:51 pm (UTC)
If you went around slapping all the stupid people in the world, you'd never get any sleep. (I volunteer for sidekick duty, it sounds like a cool gig.)

Ah, Tea Party people. We had a few at the uni entrance, trying to convince us Obama was the Antichrist.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:03 pm (UTC)
I think I would need to franchise the model and provide training -- there's too much work for one woman.

As to Obama, look, could they make up their minds? He cannot be the Antichrist, Stalin and Hitler. For a start, he has no mustache and his best mate is Jewish.
Hollyhollyxu on March 25th, 2010 01:13 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure you can pass on the training? I know that my hand itches when I see stupidity being perpetrated. The instinct to smack, it exists within all of us.

I like asking them questions and watching them trip all over themselves, but generally I try not to bait the troll. Eh. And they say fandom is crazy.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:21 pm (UTC)
Oh you'd think it would be natural, but most people power their slaps from the arm. It leads to repetitive strain injury and can cause you to deliver too much force if you're not confident in your own strength, when what you are aiming for is a classic 1930's Capra-esque skimming thwack upside the back of the head. You need to power it from the hips and use your arms for length and height.
Hollyhollyxu on March 25th, 2010 01:25 pm (UTC)
Hmm. In that case maybe we should go for a Cluebat! Less stinging of palms and more impact.

You realize I am going to go home and practise smacking people. Brammers, you are a bad influence.

blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
I've created a dominatrix.

My mother would be genuinely thrilled.

*Slaps self*
Hollyhollyxu on March 25th, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
*pats*
Your childhood was not like other childhoods, I suspect.

I would be, literally, the tiniest Asian dom ever, if I were so inclined.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
Re: *pats*
I say this with love, but knowing that, I can NEVER introduce you to my mother.
Hollyhollyxu on March 25th, 2010 01:43 pm (UTC)
Re: *pats*
It's okay, I'm asexual atm anyway. :P
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:45 pm (UTC)
Re: *pats*
Yeah, but she's not. And if you think I'm persistent ...
clovis_tclovis_t on March 27th, 2010 11:08 am (UTC)
The world needs more Cluebats. The world also needs more examples of its cousin the Reality Stick.
AutumnHearti_autumnheart on March 25th, 2010 01:15 pm (UTC)
Your franchise could be the next global political movement! The Common Sense Party?

Or possibly a secret society; an underground network of cells, expanding unstoppably through interlinked friends-of-friends. Conspirators united by their exasperation, and willingness to apply The Cluestick wherever it proves to be needed. Only when the history of these decades is studies will the scale of its impact be know, and marvelled at...
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 25th, 2010 01:22 pm (UTC)
I think I should just sew up the suit in your size and do some of the PR and history writing for you -- clearly you are a GENIUS.
AutumnHearti_autumnheart on March 25th, 2010 02:00 pm (UTC)
I'm more logistics than lycra, really... you need someone sparkly with talking-to-media superpowers for the frontman job.

The manifesto, on the other hand, has your name all over it :)
FEELS TERRORIST!: KaiLor!momebie on March 25th, 2010 01:29 pm (UTC)
Okay, technically speaking, I'm a super villian, but I feel The Reasoner has a mission I can get behind. Let me know if she needs any crossover issues. ;)
LadyDark1 ~ A  Harry and Draco Slash Addict.Period: Cringing Ladyldydark1 on March 25th, 2010 01:45 pm (UTC)
Liked your post, ;)
being_herebeing_here on March 25th, 2010 06:07 pm (UTC)
Don't make the mistake my friend did earlier in the week and wear shiny underwear with the tights. They'll fall down and you'll need to rescue your modesty with pins.
κάτι τρέχει στα γύφτικα_inbetween_ on March 25th, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC)
For a moment there I was looking forward to having you fly here and slap me around. Might clear up my lungs or knock me out for a blessed while! Please? Shiny cape, look, shiny, shiny. Pathi Harn commands you to fly, fly.
winstonmomwinstonmom on March 25th, 2010 07:42 pm (UTC)
Hey do you need a psychic...
Jaeenchanted_jae on March 27th, 2010 04:02 am (UTC)
But I WANT you to become The Reasoner! Goodness knows we need someone to travel the world over and slap the stuffing out of stupid people. Perhaps you could recruit some minions to help?
Snape's Angelangela_snape on March 27th, 2010 01:36 pm (UTC)
Slapping stupid people sounds like a great mission for a superhero... But I think you wouldbbe kept very busy - perhaps a sidekick would be required?

Thanks for the update on the elephant!
(Anonymous) on March 27th, 2010 04:20 pm (UTC)
My dark master has instructed me to provide you with this link, which may or may not lead to buff Arthur on the high trapeze:

Radiant under every sort of light (http://zarah5.livejournal.com/40654.html)

yours sincerely,

meredyth_31
blamebramptonblamebrampton on March 27th, 2010 04:21 pm (UTC)
ARGH! IN MAY! I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE!

Also, GO TO BED!!!

What, is the whole country up? Madness!
shadowclubshadowclub on March 27th, 2010 07:21 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Omg, this entry made my life that much better! I think you would possibly be the best superhero I have ever heard of!
bonfoibonfoi on March 28th, 2010 05:51 am (UTC)
I am going to make a cape and find some shiny tights and become a Super Hero. My name will be The Reasoner and my Mission will be travelling the world slapping stupid people.

If you ever do this, I vow to be helpful and not stupid! *grin*
nahimanaemerald_dragon8 on March 28th, 2010 06:58 am (UTC)
The world definitely needs the Reasoner. Definitely. Please?
lokifanlokifan on March 28th, 2010 08:16 am (UTC)
Your Sekrit Weapon could be the Cluebat!!

But I still vote for satire, because I would rather read your stories about EU farming regulations and the civil service Draco and vegetables than hear about you slapping stupid people.

...Probably.