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07 October 2009 @ 08:49 pm
Fuck me ...  
People often ask 'why do you stay in Australia when all of the fauna and some of the flora is lethal?'* This is the wrong question.

The right question is: 'What the hell are you thinking staying in a country that has new fire danger warnings like this??!!'


ETA: And just in case there is any suspicion of this being another example of my love for hyperbole, I give you the news page the image came from. Alas, I've not found a copy of the TV advert explaining the Catastrophic level on YouTube yet, but it is along the lines of 'RUN! RUN! RUN AND DO NOT LOOK BACK!' Which I have to say is wholly reasonable under the circumstances.


* This is not strictly true. The sheep, as Terry Pratchett accurately observed, are quite safe. Most wallabies, kangaroos and koalas are perfectly harmless. Many of the birds are actually pleasant! But steer well clear of the cute little octopuses.


 
 
 
Meredyth: Arthur Seriousmeredyth_13 on October 7th, 2009 10:07 am (UTC)
What I want to know is who is going to have time to go and reset all the fire-warning signs when we reach catastrophic? They're all manual in the bush, so some bastard has to go move the arrow. *sigh*

Oh, and don't be fooled, sheep actually have excellent powers of facial recognition, and can give a nasty head butt. And if you've ever seen a bull roo take on dogs (and win) or tried to handle an angry koala ... well, it can all end in tears, that's all I'm saying.

:)

btw - you still thinking of visiting? I'm just wanting to make sure I'm keeping the right dates open, assuming they are still in demand.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 10:11 am (UTC)
NB 'Most'.

Yes, I was wondering the same thing. However, the new siren system should probably have that covered. I think the TV ads are too nice, though. I would be doing something along the lines of 'If you see this alert, or hear this siren, grab the kids, the pets, the photo albums, follow police directions out of the danger zone and do not stop until you reach Tasmania!'
(no subject) - blamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 10:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - deensey on October 7th, 2009 12:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Kieran: as long as I'm going...filmatleven on October 7th, 2009 10:17 am (UTC)
I probably should not be as amused by that as I really am, considering the topic matter and seriousness, however... I'm truly find that sign amusing.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 10:20 am (UTC)
You are not the only person who will be making jokes about this. It is Australia, after all ;-)
glass_violet on October 7th, 2009 10:42 am (UTC)
Hey, we get fires down here sometimes! Although, this summer (after a winter that saw something like 3x the average rainfall for the period) you're probably pretty safe coming down here. I imagine that all we'll be able to manage is a fitful smoulder...
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 10:45 am (UTC)
Yes, I am banking on your verdant state remaining green through the coming months. And we shall have pictures of it at the start of our news broadcasts and we will all look at it and sigh longingly.
(no subject) - dharawal on October 7th, 2009 11:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - glass_violet on October 8th, 2009 10:41 am (UTC) (Expand)
cassie_blackcassie_black12 on October 7th, 2009 10:42 am (UTC)
Wow! It says something when 'High Risk' is only the second option.

Funny sign, not so funny for you guys I suppose.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 10:47 am (UTC)
Yeah, Australia does conflagration spectacularly well, alas.
AutumnHearti_autumnheart on October 7th, 2009 11:04 am (UTC)
Wow, I hadn't heard about that yet. Seems like a good idea: every progressive warning sign needs a "Run Away!" setting!

Seriously, though, this looks like a surprisingly sensible strategy. "Extreme" just means extreme likelyhood of fire, whereas the new option adds the touch of we can't stop this one that has sadly been proven necessary. The alert levels and siren that go along with it are pretty much what the far North has in place for Cyclone warnings, so not too much extra confusion.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 11:56 am (UTC)
Yes, all jokes aside, it is a sensible setting and the TV adverts were clear and logical in their 'You can fight this. You can fight this if you have special equipment, just let go of the idea you can fight this' progression. (though they do have a clear RUN! subtext)
ladyjanevaladyjaneva on October 7th, 2009 11:15 am (UTC)
wow! Sometimes I'm real glad I live in an area where the biggest catastrophes one can imagine are storms that take down trees. Actually my state (Brandenburg) is the one with the highest danger of fire warnings, but human life has never been threatened by them.

What do octupuses do? Don't some people eat them?
Brissygirlbrissygirl on October 7th, 2009 11:28 am (UTC)
The octopus brammers is refering to is a blue ring octopus. If you touch it you can end up paralysed from the poison that's if it doesn't kill you. They are tiny and have pretty blue rings all over their body to attract they prey I think, and of course idiotic humans who don't know better.
(no subject) - ladyjaneva on October 7th, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - blamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 12:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - ladyjaneva on October 7th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Brissygirlbrissygirl on October 7th, 2009 11:26 am (UTC)
This is not strictly true. The sheep, as Terry Pratchett accurately observed, are quite safe. Most wallabies, kangaroos and koalas are perfectly harmless. Many of the birds are actually pleasant! But steer well clear of the cute little octopuses.

LOL you forgot the teeny tiny deadly jellyfish (irukanji or however the hell you spell it) I live a block from the beach if you can call mud flats a beach. There was a blue ring octopus that was found at my local beach when I was in primary school. One of my BFF's used to do surf life saving at a local beach about 20 mins away and they had an encounter with one of the teeny tiny deadly jelly's.


That fire warning system needs to be matched with one for cyclones here in QLD. Catatrophic fir warnings YIKES!!!!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
I didn't forget them, but I can never remember how to spell it! And yes, given the gruesomeness of recent storm years, you definitely need one! Sadly.
old_enoughold_enough on October 7th, 2009 11:41 am (UTC)
I suppose that unless you've grown up around gum/eucalyptus, it is hard to understand just how dangerous that stuff is on a hot day during a drought. My husband describes it as being comparable to a month-old Christmas tree soaked in lighter fluid, which strikes me as being quite apt.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on October 7th, 2009 12:14 pm (UTC)
He's quite right, it's utterly bonkers. There are several types of forest here that are described by technical terms beginning with 'dry'. In fact, my one word description for mainland Australia is also 'dry' ;-).
(no subject) - glass_violet on October 8th, 2009 10:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
Jo: kirara blinkinganimeartistjo on October 7th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
I think your commissioner is covering ALL bases, including a possible apocalypse.
some kind of snark faeryshyfoxling on October 7th, 2009 07:22 pm (UTC)
"Catastrophic".

Um.

Well then!

*scared*
shu_shu_sleepsshu_shu_sleeps on October 7th, 2009 08:50 pm (UTC)
Ok - sheep I'll give you, but I still think kangaroos can be pretty nasty - especially when coming through your windscreen at speed..... and they have big pointy claws.....
Ali: !alicambs on October 7th, 2009 10:30 pm (UTC)
Phew, I'm relieved about the sheep. :-)
Jaeenchanted_jae on October 7th, 2009 11:50 pm (UTC)
*titters*

I'd be scared of your huge freakin' SPIDERS!
glass_violet on October 8th, 2009 10:46 am (UTC)
It's not the big ones you have to worry about!
*wibbles*
Bryoneybryoneybrynn on October 8th, 2009 02:10 am (UTC)


(or "I'm half dead with exhaustion so I can't formulate a witty response but this made me smile and I like you and I wanted to say something")
dαиçιиg σи ~*α і я*~learntobreathe4 on October 12th, 2009 05:47 pm (UTC)
I personally love your sense of humor. :P I don't think I've laughed so hard for an LJ post before.

And I love your stories. :DD HP Slash~~~~