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28 August 2009 @ 09:18 pm
Worst mood ever. So, a meme!  
Some strange, twisted genius has invented Translation Party, a site that translates your text from English to Japanese and back, and back, and back, until it reaches an equilibrium where the translations are stable.

From the inestimable shocolate , and the dead sexy florahart , comes a meme. Throw in the first lines of 10 of your fics. Theoretically your most recent, but in my case that would involve being able to find a few of them on my lj. Oh hush, that's nothing, ask me where my left riding boot is. (At least there I am reasonably sure that Monster the cat has taken it somewhere private for a cuddle.)


I believed in free will.
And Save Me From Bloody Men
Becomes:
I believed in free will.
Excellent! Exactly right, I say!


The first time I told Remus that I loved him, I had already stopped trusting him.
Of Great Price
Becomes:
Nothing! In fact, the warning ‘It is doubtful this phrase will ever reach equilibrium’ flashed up. The last in the long list was:
Remus and I, the first pit stop, trust me, he will not stop the love already been suspended.
Zut alors! I am overly complex! And if Remus was suspended, I doubt Sirius would ever have left the house ...


Seven years had been long enough to make Harry believe it was all right.
For the Public Good
Becomes:
All seven of the length of the right was enough to persuade Harry.
Well, seven might be enough to persuade anyone, really.


“Is that it?”
Snatched
Becomes:
“Is that it?”
That's more like it! Editorial consistency!


It was, without doubt, the strangest Owl that Harry had ever received.
Beneath Boundless Skies
Becomes:
So far, definitely weird owls, Harry had been.
Which will happen if one experiments with amateur Polyjuice, among other potions.


You see him there, in the arms of his mother, his father leaning down over both of them.
An Act of Simple Devotion
Becomes:
This system showed a tendency of both the mother's father under the arms.
I am not sure what this means, but suspect it could work as a fetching deodorant commercial in the right hands.


When Scorpius Malfoy is five years old, it occurs to him that he should have four grandparents, not three.
Sins of the Fathers
Becomes:
Nothing! In fact, the warning ‘It is doubtful this phrase will ever reach equilibrium’ flashed up. The last in the long list was:
Last year, seven days or 23 years, his grandparents experienced people Scorpio 2 5 Marufoi 4.
Is it me? I try to be clear and easy to follow ... Maybe it's a code, in deference to my passion for maths?


Harry Potter closes the door and leans back against it for a long moment, looking down at the rug, a smile glimmering at the edges of his mouth.
Fathers Who Could Do With A Spot of Sinning
Becomes:
Harry Potter and the lean flame, delay, and at the bottom of the door, smiling into his mouth, but shut down the system approach.
Which I think may be the lyrics to an early Nine Inch Nails song ...


I am not surprised to see him there, beside me.
Albus Dumbledore: The Musical
Becomes:
Nothing! In fact, the warning ‘It is doubtful this phrase will ever reach equilibrium’ flashed up. The last in the long list was:
Next year, he is please, I was amazed to shoot.
Not again! Woe! Though this is the least sensical thing I have written, so fair enough ...


It was cold here.
These Fragile Bonds (GB’s Story)
Becomes:
Here, the cold
Ooh, I quite like that! It sounds like something from a Saga, and as though it should be followed with 10,000 lines of Viking propaganda.


 
 
 
Libbylibby_drew on August 28th, 2009 12:17 pm (UTC)
So Harry's satisfied with seven inches? Or Harry is seven inches.

This post has too much philosophy and not enough cock. I want my money back.
Vaysh Swiftstormvaysh on August 28th, 2009 12:18 pm (UTC)
penis.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 12:34 pm (UTC)
Oh look, have eight inches. Size queen.

Also, todger!
Vaysh Swiftstormvaysh on August 28th, 2009 12:18 pm (UTC)
Translation party
*dead*

It is my endless relief that computers are not humans, and their translations, equilibrium or not, suck!

First line of my most recent (published) fic found equilibrium in: 1 5, Rome, January 3 Friday, Koichi 4,8 Blue Sun, Mobius strip.
Obviously, notes on an experiment, scribbled down by a Roman-based chemistry major. Potions has never been that much fun!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 12:37 pm (UTC)
Re: Translation party
AHAHAHAHAHA! It's so Dan Brown! Oh My GOD! Benedict is secretly a Scientologist!!!
Holly: Laughinghollyxu on August 28th, 2009 12:34 pm (UTC)
BRB LOL-ING FOREVER.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 12:39 pm (UTC)
Have a go, it's a lot of fun!

Or, and equally appropriately:
Since then, sounds like fun!
Loyaulte Me Lieshocolate on August 28th, 2009 12:57 pm (UTC)
*is inestimable*

Isn't it addictive!!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 01:00 pm (UTC)
Presumably you're dead sexy, too ;-)

It was fun to watch all the permutations in between, and the bouncing away from and then back towards comprehensibility!
Tua: happytuawahine on August 28th, 2009 01:09 pm (UTC)
LOL
This is fantastic. And such fun. *digs for own fics*
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC)
Do! DO! *Looks forward!*
Tuatuawahine on August 28th, 2009 01:52 pm (UTC)
Samena: Dan Thumbs Upsamena on August 28th, 2009 01:20 pm (UTC)
Zut alors! I am overly complex! And if Remus was suspended, I doubt Sirius would ever have left the house ...

ROFLMAO!! That made my day! *still laughing* You, my dear, are brilliant!
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 01:21 pm (UTC)
Glad I could bring you a laugh! Though it worries me that Sirius Black in my mind is clever, a bit broken, a bit selfish, and intrinsically fascinated by the possibilities of a sling ...
Samena: Draco HBP Postersamena on August 28th, 2009 01:33 pm (UTC)
I can definitely see that. He's a fascinating fellow, with a lot of hidden depths, and some of them are a bit dark. It makes for great fic! :D
maggiemarguerite_26 on August 28th, 2009 02:13 pm (UTC)
Harry Potter and the lean flame!

The secret 8th book that JKR's been working on!

blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 02:36 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHA! Where she reveals the whole story of Gellert and Albus ;-)
wemyss: CofETorywemyss on August 28th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
It will surprise no one, I think -
- that none of mine will ever reach equilibrium.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on August 28th, 2009 02:36 pm (UTC)
Re: It will surprise no one, I think -
That is quite the compliment on the part of the service!

(And I have my free time this weekend devoted to the joy that is reading the end of your fic and picking up the occasional typo, so that I do not feel entirely inadequate.)
wemyss: young old spotwemyss on August 28th, 2009 02:59 pm (UTC)
Actually....
... That, for wh I thank you, is more so that I don't feel entirely inadequate.
Heather: My Ass No Touchyfaynia on August 28th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I quite like that! It sounds like something from a Saga, and as though it should be followed with 10,000 lines of Viking propaganda.


I'll be over there, see? That way, in that corner? Dying of laughter. Ta!
pingridpingrid on August 28th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA! These are fabulous! :D

Ooh, I quite like that! It sounds like something from a Saga, and as though it should be followed with 10,000 lines of Viking propaganda.

Harry Potter would have been a very different story! :D Here, have a piece of the Njålssaga with name substitutions:

--------

One day Albus rode up to no. 4, Privet Drive and was given a good reception; he stayed there for the night. That evening Albus called to the boy, and the came to him. Albus had a gold ring on his finger and showed it to the boy. The boy took it and looked at it and put it on his finger.

Albus spoke: 'Will you accept this ring as a gift?'

'I will,' said the boy.

'Do you know,' said Albus, 'what caused the death of your father?'

The boy answered, 'I know that Voldemort killed him, but we don't have to mention that, since the matter was settled and full compensation was paid.'

'Your answer is better than my question,' said Albus, 'and you will be a good man.'

'I am glad for the good you foretell for me,' said the boy, 'for I know that you see the future and never lie.'

Albus spoke: 'Now I want to offer to make you my foster-son, if you are willing.'

He said he would accept both this kindness and any other that Albus should do.
--------

Perverted, slashy subtext is clearly the only thing about HP that trancends place and time! ;)
Potteresque Irepotteresque_ire on August 28th, 2009 09:31 pm (UTC)
*Dies*. What is it about the system? Big brother (seven of the length, probably) is watching your fic!! :)
Oalethiaxx on August 29th, 2009 01:06 am (UTC)
Thanks for the laugh! I especially enjoyed this one:

This system showed a tendency of both the mother's father under the arms.

He has his mother's eyes, his father's nose, and his grandfather's armpits :)
grey_hunter on August 29th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
Ack! I shouldn't have read my f-list today. Too distracting.
Rebekkah: Puff!Pinupshanes_lullaby on August 31st, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
Ahaha. I typed a line from an original fic, and was much amused. "Most say my death was suicide." Became "Most of his death was suicide." So does that mean he mostly offed himself, but not completely? >.
blamebramptonblamebrampton on September 1st, 2009 04:25 pm (UTC)
He was halfway through offing himself when a kind stranger finished the job for him!